Sunday, October 12, 2008

3 Things: Breast feeding in church, women's "parties" and other famous Democratic Mormons.

Sitting in church today I saw something that I have never seen before.  The lady in front of me pulled out a blanket, covered herself and breast fed her baby right there in sacrament meeting.  Now, I am all for women's rights and certainly the right to breast feed in public, but this seemed a little odd and out of place to me.  Most women I know take full advantage of the secret church breast feeding facilities.  I have even heard, now I don't know this for certain, that the breast feeding room in our ward has been remodeled to include a recliner and a flat panel television.  They don't tell the men about this because they know we will all be in there watching football.  Apparently, most of the time the women sit, breast feed and watch reruns of Oprah.  
Cathi keeps getting invited to one of the following:

1. Tupperware party.
2. Purse party.
3. Bead party.
4. Jewelry party.
5. Scrapbook party.
6. Kitchenware party
7. Candle party
8. Makeup party
9. Children's book party
10. Guns & Ammo party

What is with all these parties?  I feel badly for her because when she does attend, she never buys anything and she feels guilty about it.  It is sometimes difficult living on a teacher's budget and given the fact that she is already naturally very thrifty, things become even more tricky.  Now she has decided rather than feel guilty at the party, she will stay home and feel guilty for not going to the party. 

I'd like to see someone combine all of these parties!  Think of the ease and convenience; one party where you cold buy tupperware, books, candles, makeup, purses and even sporting goods.  I've even got the perfect name for this party place:  "Super Target".

Finally, since the cat is out of the bag and you all know I am no longer a closet Democrat, I shall provide a list of famous Mormons Democrats.  However before I do so, as a concerned citizen I would like to ask that anyone that currently has a cat in a bag, release it A.S.A.P.. I am concerned because I care about our country's cats.  They don't deserve to be in bags, especially plastic, ziplock bags.  Those should actually be the cats that you let out first.  However, I have read that cats with a nervous twitch enjoy dark, quiet places.  These cats should be allowed to stay in bags, as long as there is ample room, air and comfort.  You may want to whisper encouragements into your nervous cat's bag, just to let them know you care.

And now, my list of other famous Mormon Democrats.

1. Berkley Bunker - US Senator, Nevada 
2. Dr. Martha Hughes Cannon - Physician and first American female state senator.
3. Harry Reid - Current US Senate majority leader.
4. Jared Hess* - Napoleon Dynamite and then in a bunch of crappy movies.
5. President James E. Faust - Former member of the First Presidency
6. Brook White* - American Idol has-been.
7. Ken Jennings - Former Alex Trebek annoyer and national nerd.
8. George Clooney** - Member of ER staff and Vegas thief multiple times over.
9. Steve Martin*** - Jerk, amigo and father of the bride. 
10. Roseanne Barr** - Destroyer of National Anthem and very large.
11. Gladys Knight* - You don't really think she could be Republican do you?  Wait, I guess Thurl Bailey is.
12. Carrot Top*** - A great man.

* - I am not sure if they are Democrat
** - I am not sure if they are Mormon
*** - I am not sure if they are Mormon or Democrat.  


Tammy said...

That is strange about the b-feeding woman in church. Did you politely ask her to take it elsewhere? :)

And I couldn't help but notice you didn't list a "slumber" party in Cathi's list of party invites. They seem to be talked about a lot down here but no one really dares to throw one. (In case you haven't heard, they are the kind you must be 18 or older to attend and they take you into another room when you order so your neighbors don't know what you're getting).

sacdaddy said...

Surprised you used all this material in one post. You could have gotten three days out of this. As it is now, there is too much to comment on.

But it appears you inadvertantly left Gary Coleman(ran for Governor against Arnold in CA in 2003)** off your list. He now peacefully resides in Pason UT.

Cheeseboy said...

Yes Steve, I realize that I should have saved some as now I am struggling to find something for today. And yes, I forgot Gary. I am not sure that he is "peacefully" residing in Payson though. Hasn't he been arrested a couple of times?

Lori said...

Tam, I've heard about those kind of naughty parties going on in our old wonder we moved! What's up with that???

I never go to parties. I do not like to buy $45 earring that I could get for $6 elsewhere. And, I think I'm just not that social. Gathering with a bunch of neighborhood, no thanks.