Sunday, September 5, 2010
Samson's Assistant Fetches the Jawbone of an Ass.
Assistant: Uh, a what now?!
Samson: The jawbone of an ass! Bring it to me henceforth!
Assistant: The jawbone? I could get you a sword or a sling shot. David's not using his anymore.
Samson: I shall slay 1,000 Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. Bring me one now!
Assistant: I don't even know how to properly kill an ass, let alone pull the jawbone out of one.
Samson: Young sir, fetch me an ass jawbone. The Philistines awaiteth their death and destruction!
Assistant: Uh huh. And... you think that you are going to kill them with the jawbone....
Samson: OF AN ASS! YES! Fetcheth henceforth. Pronto, boy! Fetch the ass jaw!
Assistant: Sir, I am worried about you. First this preoccupation with your hair and now this whole ass jawbone business. You're going to get yourself killed.
Samson: Seriously boy. Question me not, for I am Samson, servant of God! Here is a knife. See-eth that ass over there? Bring me the jawbone.
Assistant: I, uh... really don't feel comfortable. I could barely stomach the frog in High School Biology.
Samson: Heaven help me. Must I do everything? Giveth me that knife. Find yourself a new Prophet to bother, puppet-boy.
Assistant: Alright, alright. I'll do it.
Samson: THE JAWBONE OF AN ASS SHALL WREAKETH HAVOC ON THE ENEMIES OF GOD!
Assistant: [Covered in blood] Here is your stupid ass jawbone.
---------------Sampson slaughters 1,000 Philistines with nothing but an ass jawbone. -----------------
Assistant: Now what?
Samson: Fetcheth me a lion! I feel like a gallivanting and refreshing wrestle!
Assistant: Uh and just how am I supposed to capture this lion?
Samson: Here, use this ass jawbone. It's amazing.