Wednesday, September 15, 2010

How my life has mirrored the amazing movie career of Sir Brendan Fraser.

After much thought and research, I have determined that my life, for better and for worse, mirrors the career of the GREATEST ACTOR OF MY GENERATION, Brendan Fraser.


Brendan in 1992 - Encino Man - Brendan busts on the scene with the great Pauly Shore.. When they find a frozen caveman in their backyard, two high school outcasts thaw him out and introduce him to modern day life while he in turn, gets them to actually enjoy life. 

Abe in 1992 - Abe busts on the scene as a youthful, goofy chap full of endless energy, I am thawed to realities of high school and enjoy modern day life by spending Friday nights in my basement bedroom dreaming of Leah Thompson while listening to NBA basketball games on my clock radio.

Brendan in 1994 - Air Heads - Brendan and two other band members hoping for a big break, head to a radio station to play their demo tape and wind up holding everyone hostage with plastic guns when the head DJ refuses to play them.

Abe in 1994 - Abe is a founding member of the band "Bloody Stool" in which he and some buddies get together and hold each other hostage in an old Elementary school auditorium by playing terrible, terrible music. 

Brendan in 1997 - George of the Jungle - Brendan grows up in the jungle raised by apes.

Abe in 1997 - Abe grows up in Pennsylvania raised by the Amish. 

Brendan in 1999 - Blast from the Past - Brendan was a naive man who comes out into the world after being in a nuclear fallout shelter for 35 years and finding the love of his life.

Abe in 1999 - Abe was a naive man who comes out into the world after hiding from his evil Amish enemies in the back seat of a '91 Ford Taurus for 2 years.

Brendan in 2000 - Bedazzled - A hopeless dweeb, Brendan is granted 7 wishes by the devil to snare Allison, the girl of his dreams, in exchange for his soul.

Abe in 2000 -  Abe purchases a Bedazzler and uses it's powers to snare Cathi, the girl of his dreams, which he married two years previous.

Brendan in 2001 - The Mummy Returns -  Brendan battles the mummified body of Imhotep is shipped to a museum in London, where he once again wakes and begins his campaign of rage and terror.

Abe in 2001 - Abe begins watching Big Brother, where he witnesses the mummified remains of Julie Chen host. He promptly quits watching soon after.

Brendan in 2008 - Journey to the Center of the Earth - Brendan is on a quest to find out what happened to his missing brother, a scientist, his nephew and their mountain guide discover a fantastic and dangerous lost world in the center of the earth.

Abe in 2008 - On a quest to find out what happened to his half eaten Five Guys burger, Abe questions every household member and discovers a dangerous lost world in the bottom drawer of his refrigerator.

Brendan in 2010 - Furry Vengeance - In the Oregon wilderness, Brenden is a real estate developer's new housing subdivision faces a unique group of protesters, local woodland creatures who don't want their homes disturbed.

Abe in 2010 - On a Utah playground, Abe is a teacher that is attacked by a vomiting adolescent that would rather puke on his shoes than head to the sick room.

Clearly, my life mirrors the great acting roles of this truly magnificent actor.  It is an honor I shall never take for granted.

61 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Sadly, I have an outtake photo from a picture session I did, last year, where I look like Brendan in that top picture. I have watched that clip over and over. I think it's his best work yet.

Oh, and Bedazzling skills are highly valuable during bikini waxes now.

@llison said...

Brendan has always had spectacular hair.

Now I want to watch Airheads. What a classic. I think my first teenage crush was Adam Sandler as Pip in that little purple hat, yeah baby.

Chaka said...

There is something I just can't explain about Brendan Fraser which makes me uneasy. Maybe it is his ability to consistently show up in mediocre movies. I'm surprised there was no reference to School Ties (1992) since that would probably be an easy one for you to relate to.

Saimi said...

The Bedazzler is quite the magical tool. It's evident your wife is still under it's spell, especially how she supported you by lovingly ripping off your arm hair.

The Bipolar Diva said...

Oh the puking kid, one reason I could never do what you do. I'd be puking right along with the kid....sorry

I Wonder Wye said...

Wait -- is BF pregnant in that last photo? Or does furry vengance have something to do with some furry thing clinging to his stomach??!

Yanet @ 3 Sun Kissed Boys said...

Bloody Stool! How did yall not get wedding gigs??!!

Pat said...

Did I read somewhere that your wife is blind? KIDDING! At least your life didn't mimic River Phoenix 'cause you'd be but a memory.

W.C.Camp said...

Well on the upside, your gut has not mirrored B.F's in that last picture - give it a few years though!

Honestly, you should be a movie reviewer - I think I am going to have to go see that Bedazzled one. W.C.C.

Cruella Collett said...

Aren't you slightly worried that he suddenly might appear in slasher movies or terrible war dramas? What if he becomes the star of the new wave of silent movie that will rush over America in 2012? It could be a very quiet year for you, Abe...

ScoMan said...

Sometimes life does imitate art, and sometimes writers follow people around and get ideas from their lives.

The Invisible Seductress said...

This is eerie....

Mamma has spoken said...

Hehehe I think that was a true streach of information to make a point ;o)

Scare Sarah said...

I would like a puking photo please LOL

unmitigated me said...

George of the Jungle was a cinematic masterpiece. "Ursula, I found your scrunchie!"

You left out Gods and Monsters.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Wow, that is just uncanny!

We Don't Mean to Brag said...

Glad you have a hollywood type that you can relate to. Brendan in George of the Jungle was seriously cut! My kids have that video and I never tire of them watching it.

I'm thinking about getting my husband a flyf-lap.

Marnie said...

The similarities are striking! Evil Amish...lmao :0)

Jenn said...

Wow, it's like you two are the same person...trippy :)

Aunt of 14 said...

Whoa, Brendan does indeed look pregnant in that past picture! Carrying pretty low isn't he. Probably will have a boy!

Worms... it's got to be worms.

Seriously, were you raised by the Amish?

Lindsay Blogs said...

My gracious...He is a beautiful wonderful gorgeous man. Wait, were there words in this post? Guess I better read it again. Maybe if I cover up all the pictures....

mintifresh said...

You gotta watch our for those Amish-they can be serious thugs!

I've never understood at least half (probably more) of the movies he chose to be in. I have to say he didn't hurt my eyes as George of the Jungle.

Christy said...

You must be very special. I love Brendan Fraser.

Mikki said...

I adore Brendan Fraser. Doesn't matter how bad the movie is, I'll watch it if he's in it.
No wonder I like your blog so much Abe!!

Joann Mannix said...

I think Brendan Fraser is yummy even with a bun in the oven.

My daughter's coach in middle school, who is also a good friend of mine, challenged my girl to a jump roping contest during lunch recess. My girl is an expert jump roper. She's also an expert Spagetti-O eater which she had a whole thermos of for lunch.

It wasn't pretty. Coach said he wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to eat anything that even resembles spaghetti again.

tammy said...

The similarities are uncanny.

Mighty M said...

Wow - you could be twins! :)

Holly Ruggiero, Southpaw said...

Do you find yourself worrying over what movie he might make next since it clearly influences your life?

MiMi said...

Wow. So do you look pregnant too??? Weird!

T said...

I've missed so many of these movies...

do you keep up with Brendan and discourage him from taking on bad drug addicted suicidal roles? or encourage?

Melinda said...

Brendan Frasier used to be so hot. Like seriously rockin' bod. What happened to him?! P.S. I LOVED George of the Jungle. And Encino Man. And The Mummy.

Amy said...

The Bloody Stool, seriously?

The Time of Our Lives said...

Oh Abe! I'm not sure the average citizen realizes exactly what it is like to spend every week day of your adult life in an elementary school. It certainly does not lack for excitement.. although the excitement, much like Brendan Fraser movies, isn't exactly what you'd wish on your worst enemy. ;)

Garden of Egan said...

I need to see a picture of you to believe it.

Kristen said...

I heard there is a new movie coming out with Brendan where he waxes his arm hair as a publicity stunt - PERFECT
FYI - my neighbors are Amish...

Emmy said...

Wow you either really know and like Brenden or spent a lot of time on google.

Allyson & Jere said...

And by greatest actor of our generation you mean embarassment right? Ok fine, don't get me wrong, I actually enjoy him just fine. But, when you look at his "career" in pictures and film titles as you just so compactly put it, it's a BIT tragic. I can't even discuss "furry vengance." I just CAN'T.

On the other hand, I'm certainly glad that your life experiences have been such that you are now able to regale us with humor and wit so we might laugh.

Cherie said...

But are you connected to Kevin Bacon in anyway? Ha Ha

baygirl32 said...

its eerie how alike you two are

Lisa Loo said...

I think it should be noted that we only got a face shot from "george of the Jungle" and the full gut nasty on the other.

Jealous much Abe dear?

Kidding.

I have a very tender gag reflex and probably would have returned the favor all over that middle school child's shoes. EEEWWWW..........

Are we supposed to call you Brendan now???

UnicycleRose said...

I have never been a huge Brenden Fraser fan, only cuz I am older than you and did not grow up with his movies.....however, again your approach is entertaining and I enjoyed it! Peace out, Cheeseboy!

FabuLeslie said...

I am so turned off by this actor that I could barely make it through this post without throwing up. But I did it for you, Cheeseboy. For you. Could you find someone to hold back my hair please? I think I commented too soon...

Genius post as always, I just hate this guy's career so much that I can't... stomach... it...

lisleman said...

Re year 2000 - good to see you are setting traps to catch your playful wife. I'm just a little surprised you don't have more kids. Oh maybe they are in that bottom drawer of your refrigerator

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Encino Man and the Mummy movies.. I could watch them over and over.

Missy said...

You are a nut! At least you have not mirrored Mel Gibson...

The Church Lady said...

The only Brendan movie I've seen is George of the Jungle. He is nice eye candy!

Did you really grow up in PA and were you really raised by the Amish?

The Church Lady said...

Oh wait, my daughter just informed me that I saw The Mummy and Journey to the Center Of the Earth. I forgot about those. Did I mention that he is nice eye candy?

Nancy C said...

I really love how your mind comes us with this. Compelling and addictive.

You are one of the funniest people on the interwebs

Strange fact: My former vice principal was the daughter of Lute Olson, the famed basketball couch of the University of AZ (Go Cats!)

Her brother, Lute's son, was the private chef for....Brenden Fraser.

Amy said...

Please post pictures of what you've bedazzled. I'm interested!

M-Cat said...

I knew there was a reason I liked you so much. The whole Brendan Fraser component. Well done.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

These are disturbingly eerie coincidences, Cheeseboy, especially the Bloody Stools parallel.
Great post, as always!
xoRobyn

Sandra said...

Mirror images for sure!
Love that gut on Brendan in the last pic...

Lori said...

I hate Brendan Fraser, but I like you. Hmmm, strange.

From Tracie said...

Bloody Stools? Really? Thinking about that might make me re-enact that scene from Abe in 2010. Blah!

Clearly Brendan Frasier has an agent who called every filmwriter (or producer or whatever-I'm not in the film business) and said "I have this actor, he is great as someone who doesn't know anything because he has been locked up or frozen or raised by apes" and every single one of them hired him. Freaky.

Teachinfourth said...

I had no idea that your lives paralleled so closely...

Bits-n-Pieces said...

mmmmmm...love me some Brenden Frasier..but you forgot Mrs. Winterbourne! I love him in that movie!

Paige said...

My final straw came while I was driving to a golf course one morning and vomited Mennonite herbs all over the front seat of our 1994 Chevy Taurus.

i dont i've ever laughed so hard!

Pat Tillett said...

At any one of those stages, I'm sure you were a better actor than "sir" brendan...
great post!

jennifer said...

Please post pictures from 1997... it was the time of incredible abs for Brendan in George of the Jungle. I would like to make an accurate comparison between your lives.

I feel as ashamed as I should for this comment.

:)

Marla said...

It's all beginning to make sense now.

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

MMmmmmmmm, Leah Thompson! Oh I was soooo in love her! :)