Monday, August 22, 2011

Vote for the Blog O' Cheese and all your dreams will come true!

Hey folks and beloved friends...

While you are waiting for the great Blog O' Cheese revamp, PLEASE vote for the blog as "Best Daddy Blog" on here.

With your help, I can be known as the greatest daddy blogger in all of the land!

**Just realized that you have to open an account on to vote, which is incredibly STUPID, so I would not blame you if you did not vote, but I would thank you if you did.


Saturday, August 20, 2011

The Great Blog O' Cheese Reboot of 2011

The Blog O' Cheese is currently in the process of getting a facelift/reboot, depending on what your sex is.  Things have become a little stale and tedious in the blog world and it is time to change things up a bit.

I've always said that if you are not looking to improve and get better then you are just kinda standing around and staying the same.  I am not sure those are the exact words I always use, but it is some B.S. like that.  Maybe I throw some other inspirational words in there to evoke a few tears from the crowd.

Anyway, look for the Blog O' Cheese to return with a new look and a new feel and most importantly, NEW POSTS on September 5!  I know you can't wait and I know this because you are reading these words now.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

If my family was Amish...

- Alright yunguns, time yuns stop playing that peg game and go out into the sun.

- But fatha, we can't outen the lights and head outside.  We're on the 7th level! One more and we've cleared the board. We're so close! Pleeeeeease papa!

- You've been playing that blasted thing for hours now. How is it that yuns children can just sit and stare at that wood board all day?! I tell yuns, it wonders me.  It wonders me something fierce.

- But fatha, we love this game! We can never eat ourselves full of it.

- You know, yuns eyes are going to turn into creamed corn or dippy ecks by staring at that wood all day.

- [Crying] Fatha, fatha!  We are almost to the 7th level.  PLEASE don't make us go outside!

- I careth not about the 7th level. Your brutzing is unbearable.  Now go outside and spin a that wheel thing with a stick or something.

- [Still crying] But fatha, it's spritzing outside and we haven't... I mean, I'm on my last life! Just a few moments more, fatha.

- It is not spritzing.  T'is a lovely day outside.  Now, I'm going to take that drat thing and chuck it in yuns corn husks over yonder!  Now goeth outside and DO SOMETHING!  NOW!

- Papa, we promise we won't play for the rest of the day and we won't be nix nootz children.

- Look here, children, it's mox nix.  Either yuns get outside and run around like right like children or I taketh your little game and smash it into pieces.

- Fatha?

- NOW!

- [Crying] Alright fatha, alright.

Friday, August 5, 2011

The "Overcoming Procrastination" Class

This post was inspired by a post by a good blog friend, Pedaling Fast. The post can be found here.  Essentially, it involves this poster she saw at my least favorite "University", BYU:

The following is a transcript of the above class...

- Well, I suppose we should get started even though it looks like a lot of people are running late.

- No, we'll wait.  Okay, I suppose we'll wait a few more minutes.

- Alright, it's really time we get started.  Thank you for coming today.  I appreciate your patience as we have had to reschedule this class 16 times.  We've finally found time to make this happen!

- Today's lecture will be on "Overcoming Procrastination".  Our guest speaker, Donald Feinstein is running a bit late so I will be covering until he gets here.

- Alright, it looks like a few more people are just now showing up, so I am just going to wait a minute or two to let everyone get settled.

- Thank you, everyone for coming. As you may have heard, Dr. Feinstein is running a little late, so I will be lecturing until he gets here.  Actually, before I start, could I have each of you stand up, state your name and tell us why you are taking this class?  Also, could each of you tell us something unique or funny about yourself?  Since there are roughly 112 people here, I'll go last...

- Thank you everyone, that was very informative.  I think I will tell you about myself next time as we are running out of time.  Dr. Feinstein just called and he said he probably won't be making it tonight, so I'll be doing the majority of the talking.

- Before I begin, I'd like each of you to take out a piece of paper and write a list of 50 things you procrastinate about.  No, not 50, we better make it 100.  Go with 100.

- Okay, put your pencils down.  Now what I'd like you to do is think - really think - about your list.  I'm going to turn off the lights and turn on some music while you contemplate your lists. We'll do this for the next 35 - 40 minutes.

- [Turns the lights on.] Well everyone, great session today.  Unfortunately, we're completely out of time.  Our next meeting will be in 2 and a half months.  Dr. Feinstein promises to be back, but you never really know with that guy.

- Remember, you are going to need to bring your Yoga mats for our next session. You might want to wait until they go on sale.  There is really no hurry to go buy one.  No hurry at all.  See you next time!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The BlogHe Conference

If you've been around the blog world any reasonable amount of time, you have almost certainly heard of the blog conference known as "BlogHer".  Even though I have seen this fountain of thick, rich estrogen referenced thousands of times over the years, I am still not sure what these women bloggers do together for three full days.  (Please do not tell me, I honestly do not want to know and even if I did, I would likely lose interest after your first sentence.) 

As a seasoned blog veteran of 3+ years, I've also become acutely aware that there is not a BlogHe conference for the 14 of us men bloggers to enjoy.  I've given this some thought and I've even come up with a schedule for the first day.  (We could probably hold it in my basement, but I'd have to get the okay from my wife first.)

BLOGHE 2011 
Day 1 Agenda

8:00 - 9:00: Breakfast.  
9:00 - 9:15: Breakfast digestion allowance time.
9:15 - 10:00:  Group discussion - the highs and lows of the breakfast.
10:00 - 11:00: Guest Speaker - How to blog and look aloof to the fact you are blogging.
11:00 - 11:15: Snacks
11:15 - 12:15: Backgrounds - Black or white? Today's most pressing quandary. 
12:15 - 1:15: Lunch
1:15 - 1:30: Lunch digestion allowance time.
1:30 - 2:00: ESPN Sportscenter/Naps
2:00 - 2:30: How to comment on a woman's blog photos without coming off creepy. 
2:30 - 3:00: Guest Speaker - Writing and crap.
3:00 - 3:15: Snack
3:15 - 4:00: Group discussion - In & Out vs. Five Guys - better burger?
4:00 - 4:30: Chris Farley comedy highlight reel
4:30 - 5:00: Excuses and places you can tell your spouse you were today.

HOME!  See you tomorrow for another productive day!