Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Which drugs were digested during the making of the latest episode of "Yo Gabba Gabba!"?

Calder loves a show called “Yo Gabba Gabba.!” If you have not seen it, it is certainly the largest load of gobbledygook drivel you have ever seen. Upon your first viewing, you won’t be wondering if the creators were on drugs; you will be wondering just which drug they were on. You will then wish that you had a little bit of it to experiment with.

I actually sat down with Calder yesterday and watched an entire episode, just to see what the hype and keenness were all about. Below you will find my superb copious notes and then some post-show smart aleck comments. (Initial notes in BOLD.)

DJ Lance spins around.
DJ Lance is a freaky African American dude that wears a funky hat and usually some sort of neon bodysuit. Today’s color of choice is a divine, dazzling shade of orange.

DJ Lance waves his arms.
DJ Lance has some mind-boggling moves that I am sure would be popular with the ladies in all of the New York City nightclubs he is not able to get into.

DJ Lance likes games.
Most likely because he has failed so miserably at the game of life and has become relegated to staying up late, making up silly, nonsensical children’s games in the spare bedroom of his two bedroom apartment. And he likely hates games because so many of his former girlfriends have played games with his repeatedly broken heart. This man is all about games.

Brobi, a black and green striped monster thing, is a poor sport, but not a quitter. He never gave up, just moped.
However, he DID get the attention he was seeking as the gang all stopped what they were doing to focus on this jerk-faced loser. Yo Gabba Gabba teaches our children all of the important lessons of life.

A smiling cartoon pear, squash, boot and orange take a walk while singing a song.
This was the only part of the show that made perfect sense to me, and I am still trying to figure out why. The only part of this clip I didn’t understand is why the boot happened to go on a walk with the food. I believe that the food items might have been just using him because he is friends with tin foil. Tin foil is so fresh and sparkly.

I don’t want to cause controversy here, but I believe that it is in the boot’s best interest to dump those fruity fruits and go out on his own. Perhaps the boot could become a crime fighting private investigator. Or better yet, the boot could move into an upper Manhattan apartment and be fanned by a couple of attractive divorced soccer moms with extra time on their hands. Just a thought.

Mark, an artist with a pencil mustache and a beret, draws some golf equipment on a pad of paper and then does a besotted dance.
Mark – you are an embarrassment to your craft. Your golf club was abysmal, your ball a gag to good sense. Did you take art class from a monkey that has had half it’s brain removed for research on monkey brains and/or Maybeline makeup? Did the monkey attack you because he was missing half his brain and take your dignity? If so, I would completely understand. However, you should be ashamed that you are still a practicing artiste, even if it is on a crappy kid’s show on basic cable.

The talking yellow robot plays freeze tag with the gang.
Freeze tag? Really, creepy jolly yellow robot? That’s what you came up with? Considering you are a robot and have a motherboard, circuits and other technology stuff that I can’t think of right now, I would hope that you would be able to come up with something better than Freeze tag.

Oh boy, Brobi is moping again because he does not have enough energy for freeze tag.
Brobi, you’ve got to suck it up buddy. This isn’t Mr. Rogers or Blues Clues. This show is all about energy!

A talking glass of water and an apple invite Brobi to eat them to renew his energy.
Normally, one would think that when you have a sit down conversation with an apple, you would be less likely to go ahead and gorge him into your abdomen and allow the tart stomach acid to decompose the conversing produce until it is nothing but green monster excrement. One would think.

I bet that green and black monster stool is mostly small, round pellets. It’s just a ton more than a deer. You see, I bet they leave like a 3 foot pile of pellets. Just my guess.

Brobi now has plenty of energy and wins the game!
There is no greater gift than the laying down of one’s fruitfully hopeful life for that of green, striped monster.

A girl named Jada likes to dance.
Yes, yes she does.

Cool tricks, cool tricks! – A girl plays a recorder through her nose.
No, I did not make this up. She went too far when she pulled it out of her nose and then played it with her mouth. Just kidding, but I held out some hope.

The Marching Game – It’s easy, all you have to do is get in a line behind the blue dinosaur/cat thing and march. The only rule is that you have to like to march.
Undoubtedly a brainchild of DJ Lance’s last Saturday night alone in his apartment, except of course for his GI Joe action figures which he has set up in a circle around his giant bean bag chair.
A white blob thing with low self-esteem named Gooble is invited to march along. Gooble’s expression never changes.
Gooble is a representation of the white light that evil people see when they die in their sleep.

A boy named Maxton likes to dance.
Dance Maxton, dance!

The Super Music Friend Show –Mates of State play a song called “No one likes to be left out.”
How in heaven’s name is this show getting these great bands to play their show? I have seen The Shins and now Mates of State?!?! At least some good comes from this show.

DJ Lance says, “Listening and dancing to music is awesooooooooome! (Calder says it in unison.)
Oh no! Calder has now some of this twaddle memorized? I seriously need to recheck our DVR and make some adjustments!

I do not know what is sadder, the fact that I took notes on this show, or the fact that I just spent over an hour typing up my findings. They are both equally sad. I live a pathetically boring existence.


sacdaddy said...

This post is too funny!

I was introduced to this show over a year ago by my wife's little brother who happened to be dating Foofa (the pink flower thing) at the time. He wanted us to meet his girlfriend, so he showed us a couple of episodes that he had DVR'd. Of course we were like, "wtf*?" (*f standing for freak, obviously).

Next thing I know, Azer, our three year old is hooked as if the show were its own sort of drug, and Foofa is now my Sister-in-law.

If you'd like, I could probably arrange for Calder to meet her, and even get an autograph to add to your family's inventory next to Cindy Crawford's. Foofa is quite a catch. In fact, at the wedding I met her brother, the show's creator and overall mastermind. We got connections....

(I actually sent a link to this blog entry to her for her amusement)

Cheeseboy said...


Which one is Foofa again?

My bishop is related to the creator I think or has some connection. Is this show filmed in Utah?

Anonymous said...

I'm actually the mother in law of Foofa. She's quite talented and creative as is all her family. I know Elder Uchtdorf just reminded the sisters in the LDS General Relief Society meeting to the world to be creative. It's cool what Heavenly Father has given us. I think the show teaches good things and think its amazing someone can think it up and make it happen! I'm grateful not to see mean and hurting like alot of creations for kids these days...Steve's mom in law!

Tammy said...

You already know this is the ONLY show Alex will watch!!!! We have 14 episodes tivo'd right now and I'm thrilled they are finally on a new season. This show is addictive, just like the drugs you compared it to!

p.s. If you have connections, Alex would love a picture of the whole crew!

sacdaddy said...

Based on the post by my mom, above, it's obvious that the show is a gift of God, endorsed by the First Presidency.

su-tang 3000 said...

yep, invented while on mormon drugs. i believe the head aquabats is also one of the creators.

Paige has watched this variant of a dancing kid on Yo Gabba 8 million times.

Lori said...

Hmmm, we have never seen this show. We can't seem to get past Barney and Dora.

But, if it's endorsed by the First Presidency, we better get on the Yo Gabba Gabba bandwagon! We need all the blessing we can get! :)

Tammy said...


Then again, I've never seen Barney.

JedBoy said...

“Yo Gabba Gabba” is definitely an acquired taste that becomes easier to swallow if you suspend belief and imagine yourself as a three or four-year old. The dizzying array of colors, sounds, and dancy-dance’s is definitely a sensory overload-but therein lies its genius. Taking a cue from “Pee Wee’s Playhouse,” the show teaches kids important lessons while barraging them with fast-paced lunacy. I think this is why kids love it.

It also happens to tap into that whole indie rock hipster culture thing going on right now. For this reason, it has become quite a hit among teenagers actually and adults who like to be on the cutting edge of coolness. Most of my friends and family love it for its creative inventiveness and 70s and 80s shoutout to their own childhood television shows.

I happen to love it, but, again, I have to suspend my belief that the events that I’m watching aren’t actually real. Some people have thought this is some sort of new reality programming like “The Real World,” “The Hills,” or “Survivor” and balk because they say to themselves, “What! That would never happen!” I understand why people would think that—the characters are very lifelike—but it would be wrong to presume that. I have to tell myself that everyday…I am after all married to Foofa, er, the very talented and beautiful person inside the costume I mean.

New Articles:
“Undoubtedly the coolest kids show on the planet…and they’ve once again called upon a rather sparkling array of cutting edge indie, electro and hip hop artists to lend a hand. Not just a success story in America, “Yo Gabba Gabba” is so far ranked as Australia’s #1 TV show for preschool aged kids (0-4 years) in 2008, beating out gazillionaires “The Wiggles” for the top spot.”

“If it weren't for having a 3-year-old, I might have never have known the glory that is Yo Gabba Gabba. This toddler series counts as many parents as fans as kids, thanks to performances from the likes of The Shins, The Ting Tings, Mates of State, Hot Hot Heat and Jimmy Eat World, along with Dancey Dance lessons from Melora Hardin (Jan from The Office) and NBA star Amare Stoudamire.”

“The music-filled, creature-featured show is for kids — they say! — but highly addictive to anyone with a weakness for the Ramones, Devo, Intellivision, and robots.”

“IT'S only a matter of moments before your preschooler becomes infinitely cooler than you.”

Cheeseboy said...

Dear Jedboy and Steve's mom-in-law,

Your insights into Yo Gabba Gabba are fascinating. Thank you for your contributions to the Cheese blog. Had I realized that cast members and their relatives would be reading my relatively obscure blog, I certainly would have been more kind in my review and comments about the show.

I will say two very positive things about this show:
#1 My 2 1/2 year old son LOVES it, he can't get enough. Given that he is the target audience, it must be a success.
#2 The bands they get on the show are some of my favorites.

I do however, still question the overall "coolness" of the show given that it is the most ridiculed and made fun of show on both E's "The Soup" and VH1's "Best Week Ever".

Nevertheless, I could have told you long ago that my 2 year old is already infinitely cooler than I, so maybe he knows something I don't?

The Yospe's said...

Enjoy this, Elijah Wood on Yo Gabba Gabba!

JedBoy said...

Cheeseboy, eh, don't worry about it, it's all in good fun. This is exactly what blogs are for--I make fun of shows all the time on my li'l ol blog. And 'Yo Gabba' definitely lends itself to ridicule. It's a very polarizing show--people either love it or hate it. I just felt the desire to defend it a little once Steve emailed your post to my entire family. Also, several of the cast and characters have appeared on 'The Soup,' helping to promote a show that IS sanctioned by God. ;)

Todd Lillywhite said...

Don't be dissin' my nephew's show. We've got famous people in our family.

Cheeseboy said...

Bishop Todd: Okay, I knew there was a tie there. Which one is your nephew again?


sacdaddy said...

Almost as controversial and commented on as the coolest person ever post...

Anonymous said...

It's surprising to me that someone who lists Troll 2 and Waiting for Guffman on his favorite movie list doesn't get the Yo Gabba schtick. But it's a good thing I read this blog because I never knew that Vh1 and E! became cool..Last time I checked they aired bad reality TV shows and other sarcasm-laden video tabloid fare--you know, mental empty calories that leech IQ and pacify those with mediocre lives. Good thing this guy atleast has super hip friends that know all the www.lingo. What The Freak? Classic.
Overall,I really found this all very amusing though. This makes me want to buy the box set when it comes out on DVD and ride the hype. Loathing from certain people is the very best quality indicator at times....and besides, based on the comments and this guy getting reprimanded from his bishop for YGG trashtalk, I better support the show lest I incur the wrath of the Almighty. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh hi. Wow. I never knew that the show disappointed people like that. I wonder if life has any meaning anymore. I thought you liked the show Steve but thank you for giving this link to everyone in the family so they can know what kind of fraud I am. Todd, is your sister Kim? I love her so much and your entire family!
Many apologies for apparently disgusting parents around the world, Foofa
P.S. I promise that we don't do drugs. That would be wrong.

Cheeseboy said...

To anonymous - Thanks for your comments...Quite hilarious I might say. Whoever you are, please comment more.

If there is one redeeming thing on E, it's "the Soup". Granted, "redeeming" might be the appropriate word.

Is anonymous Tim? If not, you have very similar writing styles. But I know Tim loves "The Soup" so I am still unsure???

Cheeseboy said...

Just to make everything clear, Todd, my bishop is the uncle of one of the creators - Christianson or something??? - who happens to be Emma's father? Apparently, we are talking about the same family here. I was just at my bishop's house and they talked about going to Emma's wedding.

Anyway... Thank you Emma for commenting! Never in a million years would I have ever guessed that an actual character from the show would visit my blog and comment! I feel validated. My blog is bigtime folks.

Look for more cameos from the "superstars of basic cable" on the blog o'cheese.

granny.yospe said...

Just to make things clearer, Emma ( Foofa) is NOT me.
Granny YOspe

Tammy said...

I was a bit confused when reading Emma's post because I thought it was from your mom! Looks like you're right and this post really hit people!

We'll keep on loving the show and waiting for our signed autograph christmas present from your family :)

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

Whoa dude! I think you were being a little mean.... to research monkeys! :)

A hilarious post!

Mormon Surrogate: I'm not the mom I'm just the stork said...

I think it's kind of like a freak show, I can't turn away. I actually don't mind the show.. call me crazy. I think it's better than some of the crappy kids shows that are just so stupid.