Sunday, January 4, 2009

Is not showering and not realizing it a normal part of Christmas break?

While I am not exactly ecstatic about returning to school tomorrow, I have learned over the past few days that there are two very substantial reasons that that I return as soon as possible.

REASON #1. Today I realized that I went the entire day yesterday without showering.  I meant to shower - in fact, I had every intention of showering; it didn't happen.  

What is really gross is that I had actually gone through two full-fledged workouts in which I was covered in sweat - one on Friday and then one yesterday.  After my second workout, I sat around in my perspiration soaked gym shorts for at least an hour, only to completely forget entirely about washing it off my greasy body.  After further research and contemplating, I have outlined my day yesterday, providing ample reason why showering was not a priority.

7:45 - Woke up and realized I was going to be late for my job tutoring at Sylvan.  In spite of my urge to shower, I skipped it.

11:30 - Returned home to find Lincoln playing with a friend from school.  Cathi leaves me to watch them while she runs some errands.  Showering is not an option.

1:00 - Lincoln leaves for a party, Cathi and Calder nap and I work out in the basement for over an hour.  

2:15 - Exhausted and drippy, I return to lay on the living room floor for the next 45 minutes.

3:00 - Thought about showering; didn't.

5:00 - Cathi makes a nice pizza pie from Papa Johns. 

5:30 - I was too busy celebrating mentally Utah's win over Alabama to shower.

6:00 - Again, thought about showering, but now it's 6:00, so what's the point?

As you all can clearly see, I have hunkered into such a routine of laziness over the past two weeks, I have become a creature of scum, froth and riffraff. It's time to go back to work.

REASON # 2. Over the holidays, I have put on 8 pounds.  Now, my mom has informed me that Weight Watchers informed her that the average person puts on 8 pounds over the holidays.  Well, call me Mr. Median USA, because I definitely supersized myself this past month.

I believe that the problem stems from the fact that I counted 13 days in a row in which we went out to dinner.  Of course, this would not have been a problem if I had ordered salad every meal.  Sadly, I could not help but overindulge.  In fact, I had a full helping of cheese fries at the Training Table two out of three days!  (The day in the middle we went to McDonalds.)  

I need to get back to my normal dietary schedules and flush my system of 3 weeks of sewage.


Lori said...

Welcome to the life of a stay at home Mom! At least on the showering part. I find that same thing happens too often, where I get an early start on the day and just keep going until it's noon...and who takes a shower at noon?

I agree with the eating out everyday/weight gain issue. Another reason why I believe I am able to stay thin. I rarely go out to eat. Mike is always complaining about gaining weight or needing to lose it. We eat the same things when we're home, in basically the same portion sizes. However, he takes that daily trip to the fast food place along with a full 52 ounce regular coke instead of diet coke. I think both of those things make a big difference!

Tammy said...

Only a guy could ever get away with sweating so much, not showering, and going out in public!

Maybe you and Lori have solved my weight gain mystery! After all, I eat out every day. But I do eat the same things every time so it's still a mystery to me why I only gain weight sometimes.