Saturday, January 3, 2009

Facebook is the devil and I guess I have sold my soul.

I have reluctantly joined this crazy thing called "Facebook" and it appears that I have more friends than I ever imagined.  55, and that is just so far!  1 day and 55 friends - I can't wait to see what a full week holds.  I will be a Facebook  legend.

The real reason that I joined was I thought it could direct more traffic to this Blog, and heaven knows how I enjoy people reading my drivel.

Apparently, according to Facebook lore and written script, you don't even really have to be "friends" with a person to be "Facebook friends".  In order to be Facebook friends, you really only need to have:

1. At some time in your life, known the person.
2. At some time in your life, spoken to the person.
3. At some time in your life, known someone who knows the person.
4. Been alive during the past 50 years.

I now have virtual friends that I would not want to spend more than 5 minutes with in my real life.  

Over the course of 24 hours, I have spent entirely too much time racking my brain of people I once knew in hopes that they might, just maybe, want to be my Facebook friend.  

I have also received requests from people to be their friend. They must know me somehow, but I, for the life of me, have no idea who these people are.  Should I accept their friendship out of pity - a Facebook pity date of sorts?  Or should I reject them and their undying love for Mr. Cheeseboy?  And what does it matter if I do accept or reject these people?  They are just make believe friends anyway.  

Are these Facebook friends going to come help me move when I call them and plead, "but we're Facebook friends?!" Will they call me on my birthday?  Would they even come to my funeral?Maybe 10 - 15% of them.  

This leads me to the question I have to ask: What is the point of all this anyway?  To chat with people I don't want to chat with?  To write on someone's "wall"?  To pretend like you are popular?  To give people that have entirely too much time on their hands at work something to do.  I don't need Facebook for any of that - I have the Blog O' Cheese - my preferred online time waister.

No, I think I will check my Facebook profile occasionally just to see how many people want to be my "fake friend" and pretend to be cool enough to know me, but I think I will continue to spend most of my online time perfecting the Blog O' Cheese.

PS - Please logon and be my Facebook friend.


Lori said...

Hmmm, I agree you have sold your soul! I logged on t Facebook one time, after a friend of mine "invited" me to visit her Facebook account. Needless to say, I deleted my account less than an hour later.

I hated people that I wouldn't want to talk to face to face all of a sudden talking to me on Facebook. If I want to reunite with someone or connect with someone I call a "friend", I will be the one to initiate it.

I think maybe I am a little anti-social. Therefore, I will not be your "Facebook Friend", but it's nothing personal...and I will continue to be a loyal blog viewer.

Anonymous said...

This is my question:
What is your goal? Why do you want so many people to read your blog? Do you hope to make your life into a movie? Are you collecting material for a book? Do you hope to evolve into stand up comedy? Do you simply enjoy sharing your humor with others? Do you want people to comment on your blogs? Do you wish that everyone would? Does it drive you crazy to know that there are people out there who probably don't comment, yet read? Do you wonder about them? Do you wonder how to reach them so that they'll comment, or are you happy just knowing they are there? And, what does the 10,000 visits mean? Does that mean different visitors (that would be a lot) or different log ins (that wouldn't be so much)?

brermomo said...

I'm really not anonymous, but I don't know how to navigate those buttons at the bottom of this comment area. mmatkinson

Cheeseboy said...

Thank goodness Margaret, cause that would have been a somewhat odd message to receive from an anonymous user.

It is a very good question though. I think I have two goals - to enjoy the writing and to make people laugh. That is all. I do hope that people read it, the more the better, but it doesn't really bother me that there are people reading that don't comment.

What does bother me though is when I write what I think is superb piece of comedy and there is not a single comment. I wonder what was the point and if anyone even read it. It is strange though - sometimes I can write an mindless piece of trash and people will tell me it is funny and the next day I will spend an hour writing and no one will notice.

I think it is actually 10,000 log ons, not visitors.

And finally, to answer one more question: Yes, I do hope that this leads to a stand up career. That would be so awesome.

So really, I have no idea why I signed up for facebook. It is rather lame indeed.

Tammy said...

I'm sorry Abe if I convinced you to become a Facebook member :) but I also don't understand the point so I want to put more people out in this big huge world into my boat of friends!

I read all of your posts. If I don't comment it usually means I thought I did and hit the wrong button OR I was left so speechless I couldn't think of a single good thing to say.

Tammy said...

P.S. I'm now going to go check your facebook and see your many friends! You better have an update on your photo!

brermomo said...

OK, I could help you out a whole lot! If you would just put the word, "Palin" or "corrupt" or "child king" in your text somehow, I could leave your link on the gazillion websites I visit. Hmmm...I'm gonna' do it anyway! Hey, I'm just hearing that Al Franken may be a senator after all. Breaking news! Surely that would fit both catagories--politics/comedy!

Lori said...

This is Mike,
If Al Franken is a Senator, than I know the world is over and we are living in Hell as we know it! This is an absolute disaster for Minnesota. They get what they deserve!

Ike said...

Now if Stuart Smalley ran for Senator that would be a different story. He's good enough, he's smart enough, and doggonit, people like him.

Cheeseboy said...

Margaret - I apologize for the hate spewed forth by our Republican brothren. I too am pulling for a Stuart Smally victory parade - just as long as he dresses as Stuart for the parade.

Cheeseboy said...

By the way Margaret - I read some letter about a football game that you went to and you had no idea what was going on - it was hilarious! Definite Blog O' Cheese material. If you email it to me - I would love to post it on the blog.

brermomo said...

Abe....why don't I have your e-mail address?
Send it to me and I'll send you my football story.


Cheeseboy said...

Margaret - Crazy thing, I don't have your email address to email my email address to. Ugh.

brermomo said...

This is a prediciment!

Cheeseboy said...

Margaret, my email address is

Amanda said...

Abe...since Dan Smith suggested I add you as a friend and I did do I take this post to mean that you would not talk to me if we ran into each other in real life?

I have had some of the same feelings about facebook and yet it has been fun to catch up with old friends I have lost track of.

Your family is darling..I forgot you and Cathi were married! Please tell her hello from me.

And your blog has had me laughing out loud tonight so I may just have to subscribe...

Here's a link you might enjoy about facebook:

Amanda Matthews Lythgoe [fake friend from facebook]

Cheeseboy said...

Thanks Amanda. Yeah, I think I would probably talk to you in real life. I guess I should be a lot friendlier when referring to my "fake friends".

Please feel free to "subscribe" to my blog - it's free! And feel free to comment anytime.

BTW - It appears that you have a lovely family as well. (At least from the tiny facebook photos.)