Sunday, January 11, 2009

Another reason why I should have been a lumberjack.

Being a teacher, I work with more than a few women. I don't mind, as I tend to garner much attention, which I enthusiastically encourage and then soak up like a starfish laying in a puddle in the desert. There are, however, times in which being a lone man in a herd of estrogen can be burdensome. I give you the following example from Friday:

The secretaries in the office: Abe! You have to find out for us... Is your student teacher seeing someone?

Abe: [Taken off guard] Uh... um... I think she talked about seeing a guy once and they broke up. I'm not really sure.

Secretaries: Well, we all have single sons and we need to know if she is single or not.

Abe: [Sighs] Okay, I am really awkward about these sort of thing, but I'll try to find out.

[I do find out, and she is in fact unattached.]

Abe: Great news, she's single. She's been seeing a guy for a couple weeks, but she is open for dating.

Secretaries: That's great! Is she an outdoorsy girl? What does she like to do?

Abe: I'll find out.

Ugh!! I should have been a lumberjack. Does crap like this ever happen to lumberjacks? I'm thinking that they mostly focus on chopping wood, although I would think that sawing wood would sometimes come into play. It probably depends on what the situation calls for: if they use an ax or a saw. I would think they use an ax for the smaller, woodchippy stuff and a saw for larger oaks. They probably sometimes even break out those huge, two man saws, but those take a TON of teamwork. I just thought of something brilliant - Lumberjacks have got to have a really good friend that they trust. I'm sure it's in the lumberjack code.

By the way, the sistas in the office also told me that I was. "So young and innocent looking - almost like a missionary." As a result, I have begun sporting a beard, which I shall grow until I feel that I am no longer innocent or missionary looking... or until Cathi refuses to kiss me; whatever comes first. (Most likely the kissing thing.)


Tammy said...

Please post a picture of you with a beard!
Because I can't even imagine this!!!
What if your student teacher thinks you're asking the questions for yourself?????

Lori said...

Abe, maybe you should consider opening a dating service on the side instead of tutoring! :)