Monday, July 21, 2008

Strange Disease of the Day: Pica

Pica is the unhealthy desire to eat nonedible items such as clay, dirt, cigarette ash, glue or laundry detergent.

This disease sends cold chills through my spine.  I have eaten clay, dirt and even glue.  In fact, I ate glue just two months ago to see if it would make my first graders laugh.  That reminds me - Note to self: Remember this year that eating glue will not make first graders laugh; it only sparks their curiosity as to what glue tastes like. 

Fortunately, I do not have a desire to eat these items, I just do it for shock effect.  

Pica most often affects pregnant women and children living in third world countries.  I am not pregnant and I don't live in Ogden, so I should be clear and free of this disease.  

However, the other day I did have a strong craving for coconut.  It was such a powerful yearning that I thought about eating some of the boy's sunscreen.  Blessedly, I found a Mounds bar in the kitchen cupboard that must have been 3 years old.  (I know it was that old because it had a promotional wrapper with Chicken Little on it.)  I gobbled up the stale, white flaky candybar and felt refreshed.  Now I feel a little Picish.

If I develop further Pica symptoms, please take me immediately to the nearest mental health facility and check me in for further research.  Oh yes, please also remove any glue, dirt, ash, sunscreen, and especially 3 year old Mounds from my possession.  If I continue to eat these items, I give you permission to pull my plug.  


CaraDee said...

I cannot keep up with all the posts you are churning out these days. Or is this business as usual?? Also, it's called "Dark Knight", not gotham knight. FIX IT!

Cheeseboy said...

CRAP - I can't fix it. Once there is a vote on the poll you have to start the whole thing over.
By the way - I think Dark Knight would get more votes if more people have seen it.