Thursday, July 3, 2008

New weekly feature: The strange disease of the day.

Given the fact that I am a huge hypochondriac and that I clearly have too much time on my hands in the summertime to update my blog, I have decided to add a new feature - The strange disease of the day.

Before I announce today's entry, let me explain.  The strange disease of the day is an attempt to educate my reading audience.  That way, you will know the signs and the symptoms before you come to my house and pass the dreaded bug my way.  I must warn you, all of these diseases are 100% real, according to my internet sources, which we all know are never wrong.

Today's disease is the Jerusalem Syndrome.   It affects about 100 tourists per year.  People that come down with this disease may be of any religion.  Sufferers believe that they are prophets or messengers from the Lord.  They may deliver public sermons and ask people to repent.  

If am not sure if I have ever had any symptoms of this disease.  For starters, I have never been to Jerusalem.  However in 1999, our ward had a Christmas party.  They decorated much of cultural hall in a Jerusalem motif.  After the party, I vaguely remember not feeling like myself and asking a stranger if his name was Sampson.  It could have been the funeral potatoes though.  They were quite rancid that night and their consistency was that of runny jello.

I fear this disease.  It would be easy to go over the edge with a name like Abraham and start calling people out.  Please, if you visit Jerusalem, take a shower before you visit me.  I don't want to catch this.

1 comment:

Tammy said...

Speaking from one hypochondriac to another, I'm not sure I should read your posts on new diseases! Though I'm fairly certain I won't be going to Jerusalem anytime soon so I shouldn't be passing this to you. And I don't remember the ward party you mentioned so luckily I must have missed it.