Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Putridflickator

The Putridflickator - A person that is addicted to awful movies.  

I feel sorry for these people.  They rent every Scary Movie, see every Norbit and discuss the plot of every Bethoven's 2nd until you want to reach into their mouth, pull out their tongue and wrap it around their waist.  

At a function that we were recently invited to, we had the opportunity to view a movie.  The man that provided the movies was a super swell guy and very well intentioned.  He had brought with him a stack full of movies to choose from.  The stack contained the following options:

The Little Rascals (The new one.)
Dennis The Menace
Ghost Dad
The Land Before Time 5
The Super Mario Brothers Movie

Which one would YOU choose?

Granted, this function involved the kids and it needed to be age appropriate, but this was the best he could do.  We looked up and down the pile until blood flowed from our eyes.  It was like trying to pick the best Chinese scooter - you really could not go right!

The funny thing was that when the guy introduced each selection, he would preface it with something like, "Here is a very funny little ditty that the kids will sure find amusing."  Or, "This one has a great moral.  I've seen it several times and I can't get enough."  He is the guy that when given the options at the movie theater this weekend will say, "Hmm, Batman looks too dark... I think I will go see Space Chimp."  When the box office totals are released and you notice that Space Chimp made 3 million dollars, you will understand that there is a small audience out there for this type of crapfest. 

So the next time someone starts having a serious conversation with you about the story line to Howard the Duck or how Tim Allen make THE FUNNIEST MOVIES, stop them in their tracks and tell them to just knock it off.  It is clear that they are suffering from a case of putridflication. 


Ike said...

I once watched "The Scooby Doo" movie based on someone's recommendation. Yuck.

Did you know that George Lucas produced "Howard the Duck?" I'm pretty sure I'm right on this one but you might want to wikipedia it. Funny. It's like the black sheep of the Lucas Family. You have Indiana, Star Wars, Willow, and Howard the Duck. It did star your childhood crush Lea Thompson, didn't it?

CaraDee said...

I like how blood flowed from your eyes. It makes me laugh. I am happy again. And btw, we are NOT putridflickators...we are on our way to see Dark Knight in MOMENTS.

Cheeseboy said...

Ike - I would like to know WHO recommended the Scooby Doo movie to you???

And Caradee - Dark Knight definitely does NOT qualify as a putridflickation. I am jealous.