The Life and Times of the Cheeseboy Scouter. Chapter 2: A Scout is an Eagle (At least a good scout is)

I have not put "Eagle Scout" on my resume for ten plus years now. I figure, what's the point? For one: nobody cares (or should care) what I did in the summers when I was twelve and thirteen; that should have no influence on whether or not I can perform a job. For deuce: placing the title "Eagle Scout" on my resume would either backfire and reek of desperation - or - the potential employer will see me for what I truly am - a huge, scouty-scout nerdboy. I know if I were interviewing a jocular Joe and he put an emphasis on how he earned his Eagle Scout award twenty five years ago, I would simply dismiss him as a loser and a twerp.

Of course, while I was earning the hallowed Eagle, I was constantly reminded that there would be two advantages that would benefit me for a lifetime from the award: I would be able to put "Eagle Scout" on my resume and I would be able to get my driver's license.

Ah, the dreaded and famed "No driver's license until after your Court of Honor" parental threat. I firmly believe that this is only a Utah/Mormon tradition, but I am not sure how it ever started. Did Brigham Young tell his boys, "Lads, one must know the Scout Law and pin many pins on your mother(s) before you will be allowed to hitch up the buggy."?

I am positive that my parents were not the first ones to throw out such an idle threat. I had friends and relatives that were also operating under similar persuasions from their folks. Fortunately, I was able to earn my Eagle at age 13, and was spared the heartache and pressure of having to push through it at age 15. I do however, often wonder what life would be like if I had only managed to earn my Life Scout badge. It would present quite an interesting challenge as Cathi would have to drive me to work and pick me up. She would not be happy about this.

At the age of twelve, I was under the absurd impression that I would never touch a steering wheel or get a high paying job if I did not obtain the honored and cherished Eagle award. Such was my indoctrination; I am still surprised when I meet highly successful men that tell me that they had dropped out of scouts. I'm even more confounded when I see them drive away in their Cadillac convertible. They must have really permissive parents! They should totally be busted for D.U.I.O.N.E. (Driving Under Influence Of No Eagle)

I don't blame my parents for their Law of the Eagle parental rule. All three of my brothers also obtained their rank of Eagle (although I doubt that any of them were motivated by the threat of being undriver-licensed) and we may have all learned a thing or two in the process. Nevertheless, I doubt that I will enforce the same rule on my boys. Instead, I may withhold their Driver's License if they do anything wrong... ever.

I am not even sure I know where my Eagle Scout award is anymore. I do, however, know where my resume and Driver's License are and neither lists "Eagle Scout" on them anymore. That reminds me, the DMV (at least the Utah DMV) should implement a box on the Driver's License right under the "Donor" box entitled "Eagle Scout". That way, if you get pulled over for speeding, the cop will know you are a good person, and/or honest, and/or a complete dork, and/or did a lot of camping, knot tying and basket weaving in 7th and 8th grade. All of which will come in handy when attempting to get out of a ticket. Unless, of course, the cop only ever made it to a "Star" scout.

**Also, if you marked "Eagle Scout" but not the "Donor" box, the cop would clearly know you were lying. No way an Eagle award winner would ever NOT be a donor!