To beard or not to beard?

I have been blessed with the gift of hair. It covers my body like a woven blanket of shag. I enjoy my hair in some places, but in others it becomes a nuisance. I am so hairy, King Kong once jumped out of my chest and said, "God Bless America!". I am so hairy I make Chewbaca look like he is balding. I am so hairy, when I make dinner, Cathi gets grossed out when she gets a food in her hair. I am so hairy that kids will stop me on the street to pet me. I am so hairy...well you get the picture.

I have been called a gorilla, dog and even werewolf by my students. They are usually looking at my arms when they make these kind comments.

One benefit to all this hair is that I can grow a pretty thick beard. I have on several occasions made a valiant attempt at one. Unfortunately, there is a very awkward period of growth between week 1 and 2. During the first week, it looks very cool. However, during the second week, it looks like I spilled plastic ants coated with honey all over my face. It is what some might refer to as a "half beard". Finally, in week 3, I have a nicely formed array o f hair. I like to refer to it as "The Gucci of beards".

Cathi hates my beard. She complains of the pokey and prickly feel. She rarely kisses me. I like the look but it clearly has it's pros and cons. Not being kissed by my wife is clearly a con. I have been thinking of another attempt. We shall see!