Friday, April 23, 2010

Now, this is a birthday pickle to be sure.

It's my birthday today and I haven't a thing to wear.

I mean, really I could just wear the jeans and tee shirt I have on right now, but come on - this is a special day and I really should throw something on a little more formal.

Is it too late in the season to wear a mink coat? It is rather stormy outside and I haven't worn my mink since the spray painting incident of '07.

Fortunately, it was Crayola washable spray paint. Those punk kids were too stupid to look at the label.

Maybe I'll wear my cowboy boots and a fedora hat. Unfortunately, my fedora is still dimpled from that fight I got in at that Clay Aiken concert.

Now, I didn't have a choice; that dude was changing the lyrics. "If I were not invisa-crappy"?! That doesn't even rhyme. Plus, if you don't like him, why did you come to his concert?

"AIKEN, YOU SUCK!" was the last straw.

Stupid bozo dimpled my fedora. It's okay - I totally wrinkled his vintage Harley Davidson tee shirt.

I could wear my Goatlord Death Metal leather jacket, but I get so sweaty and my it always smears my temporary tattoos.

Perhaps I will show off my chest hair a bit and wear my shirt unbuttoned. Just the top two, I don't want to throw the women into a tizzy. It might get a little frightening, I measured one of my chest hairs at 8 inches yesterday.

Hasselhoff wishes he had an 8 inch long chest hair.

I am in such a quandary as all of my ideas seem to be good ones. It is my birthday, and I would like to look nice.

Perhaps you could help? What should I wear to How To Train A Dragon tonight? I'd really like to make a splash at the theater for my birthday.

35 comments:

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday Cheese Boy! Wear the cowboy boots, but wear a pair of shorts with them. You're sure to make a splash then! :O)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'd still vote for the Goatlord Death Metal leather jacket.

Bumpkin on a Swing said...

Um Cheese,
I think you have overloaded yourself looking a fashion blogs again.
I think you should wear whatever you feel the best in.
Happy Happy Birthday!

Kristina P. said...

I vote for a Borat bathing suit.

C'est La Vie said...

Happy Birthday to you!
Wear....leather pants and cowboy boots and...a swim cap!! Make us all happy...

Beth Zimmerman said...

Happy Birthday, Abe! Maybe you should borrow your son's moon boots and insist on being called Gaston! :) Just don't run around killing beasts! That might now go over so well!

Nikki said...

I feel a little violated by this post. But seeing as it's your birthday, I forgive you. Have a great time at the movie. I expect to read a thrilling review on it.

Joann Mannix said...

Happy Birthday Cheese Boy!

Denim leggings, of course! If you don't know what that is, Google it. You would look smashing. Perhaps with a shredded leather half top and I'd say keep the cowboy hat. Can you grow a mustache really quick, a big fat one? Because that would just put the whole look over the edge. Have a fabulous, fabulous birthday and may all your birthday dreams come true!

Mama-Face said...

Your court jester costume of course.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i really mean it cuz i used all capital letters.

Lana@The Kids Did WHAT?! said...

Oh Cheeseboy... You can show off at least 3 of your chest hair... Or do you only have the 2? Or perhaps you're refering to 2 un-done buttons? :P

With an 8 inch chest hair you could splice that baby right down the center and VOILA! An extra!

Whatever you wear (or don't wear), I'm sure you'll look smashing. After all, it is your birthday.

Happy Birthday!!

The Invisible Seductress said...

I say stop by Walmart and get the Toothless pajamas for kids,, there is a dragon wing cape you can wear...

Tres chic dahling...

The Invisible Seductress said...

Oh..and..Happy Birthday....

TS Hendrik said...

Do some cosplay. Wear a dragon costume and one of those pairs of glasses with the nose and eyebrows.

Queenie Jeannie said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I think you'll really like the movie!

Macey said...

Old cheese is the best cheese! Happy Birthday! :)
I say wear the moonboots with the shorts.

ScoMan said...

Happy birthday.

I'd go with the death metal jacket and the cowboy boots because you're probably going to be facing a pretty tough crowd at a show like that, so you'll have to look tougher to avoid another dimpled fedora incident.

Ally said...

Happy Birthday!! Darn, I was gonna suggest you wear your son's moon boots too! Ha ha!

FourthGradeNothing.com

Connie said...

I'm sure by now you've gone to the movie and returned home; so now it's a matter of what to wear at home. You should take off the jacket, the cowboy boots, the un-buttoned shirt and put on your old man pants. They'll be more comfortable on your old body.

Happy Birthday to you! Hope you could blow out all your candles!

Loretta Valenta said...

Happy Birthday to the best Cheeseboy ever! My vote is for you to wear moon boots! :)

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I hope it's been a wonderful birthday, Cheeseboy. I also hope that you did not wear your birthday suit to the theatre.
xoRobyn

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!! I agree - moon boots; it'll be a cute Daddy and Mini-Me pair. Have a good one!

Tammy said...

Happy Birthday Abe!

Tree said...

Happy Birthday!! 8 inch chest hair, huh? LOL I'm your newest follower for Friday Follow!

Following you with both of my blogs. Stop by and visit when you get a chance!

Tree (aka Mother of Pearl)
Mother of Pearl It Is
Mommies Faves Top Sites and Blogs

Krista said...

I say it's your birthday and you should wear whatever you want! Put a badge on that says "It's My Birthday Today" (I'm sure you have a drawer full of 'em) and attach it to your 8" chest hair. Not everyone can boast of such beauty! Though I have one that keeps sprouting out of my chin. They need a movie called "How to Train Your Chin Hairs." It'd be a chick flick for sure!

Alexandra said...

Happy Birthday!!

Live it up....

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Happy B-day!
Maybe your wife would let you sport one of her outfits?

Lori said...

Oh, dang! I'm probaby too late. I'm sure you've been to the movie by now. I had the perfect suggestion! Your Barney Costume! That's sort of "Dragonish"...you would have fit right in with the theme.

Hope you had a great birthday!

See Mom Smile said...

Happy bday. You should have gone with a Viking hat for the dragon movie. We loved that movie by the way.

Powdered Toast Man said...

I say pajama pants, vintage cartoon t-shirt, suit jacket, sandals and an astronaut helmet.

tammy said...

You mean I missed it? Dang.

Hope you had a great birthday Cheeseboy!

Claudya Martinez said...

Wear a smile!

Feliz CumpleaƱos!!!

Kmama said...

Happy Birthday (belated). Thanks for the comment you left on my blog.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Happy Birthday! I'd like to throw down the I'm-not-late-I-live-overseas-
card, but you've posted since... sorry I'm late. Did you have a great time at the dragon movie? I loved it, but the voice did NOT fit the guy. Just saying.

Hutch said...

Happy Belated! What did you end up going with? I would have voted for flashing the chest hair. If you've got it flaunt it right?

Anonymous said...

Aww. So bummed I missed the big day. Hope it was all you wanted it to be and more!