Monday, May 25, 2009

3 things I realized on our mini-vacation to Leeds.

We're back. I'm sure nobody cares. Well, maybe you don't care - but you do anyway - because you're just that kind of person. Thanks for pretending. Nevertheless, we just completed a two day excursion into the vast wilds of Leeds, Utah, 10 miles north of St. George.

We generally visit secluded, farmlanded Leeds two or three times a year as Cathi's parents own a lovely home there. It is generally quiet, quaint and actually quite quail filled. (It's not that I needed another "Q" word here, which I did; I actually did almost run over an entire family of quail - babies and all. I actually should have run them over as it would make for a much more interesting story than I am sharing here)

This trip, for me, was one of self discovery. I am not speaking of deep, moving, soul searching of which I have no patience for. I am speaking of 3 minute, rather cloying details about myself that I happened to pick up on.

1. I am a very slow highway driver. I usually set the autopilot for 5 miles per hour UNDER the speed limit. I'm slow. If I were a racehorse, I would be a Clydesdale. If I were a restaurant, I'd be the Cheesecake Factory. If I were running track, I would be the white guy. I was so slow, Cathi's MOM beat us to our destinations - and she is old! (Not real old, but she's at least 60 I think)

As I chugged along, I noticed the only things I passed were trucks towing boats and semis - and even then, some semis were passing ME! Now, don't get me wrong - I am a very polite driver. I never cut people off in the fast lane, I always give the right away to the "ultra-fasties" as I like to call them and I never fail to signal. UF's have no right complain about me.

I've often wondered why I am such a slow driver and I think that I figured it out during my five hours on the road this trip. I recall watching a movie, it may have been Meet the Parents 2, in which a grown woman is driving with her father. They are traveling so slowly, folks are honking and giving them the finger as they drive by. The girl turns to her dad and asks, "Do you always drive this slowly?" Her father replies, "Only when you're in the car, honey."

2. I am refattening up for my role as "fat guy" in the movie called "life". My pants aren't fitting right, I've noticed a protruding belly and my acid reflux has returned in full force. I'm not sure why this is, I have kept up my running routine at nearly 100%. I'm not ruling out my diet, which - during the past week ("Teacher Appreciation Week") has included two meals at Cafe Rio, and one at Wendy's, Burger King, Iceburg and One Man Band. In addition, the kids brought me my favorite candy: Milkyway and Sour Patch Kids. I have been gorging these like Ryan Seacrest eats "second breakfasts". But hey - the jogging should have worked all that off, right?

3. Hiking for 3 hours to see a few Indian writings on some rocks in 95 degree heat and no shade is only worth it if your 7 year old son is amazed by them when you finally get there.


Cathi said...

Yes I can testify that he is a slow driver on the highway. I've learned to deal with it.
But he's not so great on regular roads. He almost ran over a family of Quail and he did indeed run a red light. Luckily we were all safe.

Cheeseboy said...

I can't tell you how honored I am to have my own wife finally comment .

In my defense, driving with Cathi's parents in the car with us makes me very nervous.

Daphne A. Quist said... come I didn't know Cathi blogged! What is your blog Cathi! Mitch just brought this to my attention!!

Cheeseboy said...

No, Cathi doesn't blog - she just comments once in a lifetime.

Mackenzie said...

Oh Abe... I am so happy I am not married to you. I have to drive at least 10mph OVER the speed limit.

lindsey v said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lindsey v said...

I have a quick query: what's that quirky little hat that your son's wearing? It's cute.

Tammy said...

This is one of my favorite posts Abe! First, it has pictures included :) And I love knowing you feel as if you've gained weight even though you're a runner! It might sound harsh for me to gloat about that but coming from someone who constantly struggles with weight, it's good to know I might still struggle even if I ran a marathon :)

Have you slowed down your driving over the past few years? I am one of your "UF's" and I remember you keeping up pretty well in the past.

Tammy said...

P.S. I also want to know about Lincoln's quirky hat and you forgot to say if he was amazed when you finally reached the petroglyphs.

Cheeseboy said...

Well Tammy, I hate to break this to you, but there is one key to me gaining weight - eating out. I eat out I gain weight, I don't eat out, I lose. No other way around it - that has always been the way it has been for me - doesn't matter how much running I am doing at the time.

If I am following someone, I tend to drive faster to keep up. Also, I drive faster when my family is not in the car. I just feel such an obligation when they are all in the car to keep them all safe.

Lindsey - Lincoln was on a creative kick on this trip and kept designing useful things. That hat is something he created out of a paper sack and some string to keep the sun off his face during the hike. It was actually quite ingenious, even if he looks like is in the brown chapter of the KKK.

Lori said...

Cath - I don't know HOW you've learned to live with that. I would probably just take over the driving if I were in your shoes. However, I bet Mom appreciates the fact that Abe is willing to caravan to Leeds with her. My husband just leaves her in the dust and she now knows she'll see us when she gets there.

I thought for sure the "hat" must have been one of Grandpa's contraptions! It looks like Lincoln's got his ingenuity genes.

Cheeseboy said...

Lori - Like I said, it is all about the safety of my family. I drive faster when they are not in the car with me. PLUS, I never, ever, ever have to worry about getting pulled over. Ever. I laugh and point when I see people get pulled over.