Friday, January 8, 2010

A smorgasbord of odd tidbits. (Staring Charles in Charge's Scott Baio and my wife)

I am so happy with my HD TV, sometimes I just sit and stare at it in awe... and then I remember that is kinda the point.

When the HD man from HD land came to install his magic HD, he had to give us a little presentation before he left.

HD Magic Man: See how some of the stations are in HD and some are not?

Me: [excitedly] Let's see ESPN! What channel is that?

HD Man: I really don't know. I really just watch a lot of HGTV and Food Network.

How is this man even a man?!

Sometimes I go to Costco just for a hotdog. But yesterday we went there and I wasn't in the mood for a hotdog. Of course, I could have ventured over for a smorgasbord or grab-bag of small pieces of food garbage in the free sample area, but we all know how that went the last time.

If you have been to Costco for an actual meal (the area with the umbrellas, soda machine and fat ladies standing next to their cart, waiting for their husband with a giant pretzel in their hand), you know that their menu is very limited. Here are your choices:

pizza slice
some sort of giant, greasy Hot Pocket
Cesar Salad

I had had a large lunch, so I went with the salad, plus I am on a diet. Good move - the 6 samples I ate later would have so made me barf had I eaten the hotdog.

We watched a movie the other night called, "Food, Inc", a documentary examining where most our food comes from. The movie claims that just about every hamburger you eat in the United States has chunks of over 1,000 different cows in it. This is one reason why the spread of salmonella is so difficult to contain these days. Disgusting.

Now, when I get a hamburger I separate it into 1,000 small pieces and eat them one at a time. Much more delicious that way, but it is hard to get pickles that small.

People still consistently tell me how beautiful my wife is: both men and women. I am not sure if this happens to other men, but it seems as though I get this compliment from a different person at least once a week. It never gets old, it's great and oh so true.

However, in contrast, a group of three 4th grade girls came up to me at recess, told me I was, "handsome" and ran off. Yeah, it's almost the same thing.

Someone once mentioned in the comments of a previous post that I had tracted into Charles in Charge on my mission. Now, I am here to admit that this is only HALF true... I actually tracted into Scott Baio, who played the CHARACTER "Charles" on the hit TV show, "Charles in Charge". He owned an enormous summer home in the "mountains" of the Poconos. He came to the door in his Pajamas and reached over and grabbed the paper while he spoke to us. Not sure if he actually lived downstairs.

Scott (as I referred to him thereafter) was quite handsome, silky and dashing as he reached over, grabbed the paper, said, "no thanks" and shut the door all in one continuous motion. I am not sure if I said a single word, but I could feel a connection had been made.

I could see Buddy making coffee in the kitchen and FYI... there was a lake nearby!

Also, I would like to make it abundantly clear that this was not my only brush with fame (and by this, I mean my brush with someone famous) during my two years in Pennsylvania. During that time, I knocked on the doors of the following: Both of the Andretti brother's homes, Evander Hollyfield's home and I drove by Tom Cruise's property almost daily for three months. I never saw him and it was all fenced off so knocking on his door was impossible.

Also, during my time in Scranton/Wilkes Barre, I may or may not have heard the band "Scrantonicity" during a Farmer's Market I attended.


Traci said...

Don't insult the Chicken Bake at Costco by calling it a "Hot Pocket". Rude. I love those things!It probably out-calories the Hot Pocket by 1000%. And yes, I agree, your wife is very pretty and I've always thought that!

Heather and Jake said...


I am not sure if I believe that hamburgers have over 1,000 different cows mixed into the meat. Maybe, possibly a hamburger you buy at a fast food chain restraunt. To me, it sounds like more work to grind up 1000 different cows and mix all of the meat together. 1,000 cows ground at once?...that would be a large mix. Are you sure they didn't mean that Hamburgers in the US come from over 1000 different cattle ranches? I am pretty sure that the ground beef you buy in your local supermarket is ground at the supermarket in the back of the beef area. Likely the beef you get is all from one cow. So, yes I am putting a challenge on this claim. I would think that milk has a better chance of getting mixed with that many other cows' milk, but even then, they still do tons of tests all of the time on these things. For example, I went to the Toone dairy farm where they mix 300 cows' milk and if they have one thing wrong with the tests they do on the container of milk when it is picked up, they have to dump the entire container! They test the truck again when it arrives for bottling and again before bottling. One little is hard to be a dairyman these days.

I always see the fat ladies at Costco waiting for their husbands to get them the Churros and ice cream....Got to love the Costco menu. Only with a location inside of Costco, would you have so much success with such a menu.

The cable guys sounds lame.

Happy birthday to Lincoln.

Cheeseboy said...

Jake (or Heather)... Okay, I am no expert, but that is what the movie said. You should watch it... it is pretty good.

Heather and Jake said...

It was jake. Do you still have it? I would like to see it. I guess we will have to put ouselfs on the waiting list at the library (if there is a wait)Did they mention the extensive testing they already put the meat through?

Cheeseboy said...

Sorry, I took it back yesterday. It is brand new, so it might be a bit of a wait. If you are both this interested, you definitely need to check it out though. It is for sure interesting.

I don't recall them mentioning the tests meat goes through. However, I do remember them placing the meat in chlorine like a dozen times to kill all the germs.

It was very eye opening. You may not agree with everything in it, especially their claim that everyone should eat organic food, but I promise it is worth watching. Here is the beginning clip:

Tammy said...

I've heard that about hamburgers coming from many sources but I haven't heard of the movie "Food Inc". Good to know. I'll check it out sometime.

And I think Cathi is beautiful!

brermomo said...

I touched Alan Derchowitz' coat one time.

No food court at our least 2 years when I stopped going for good and forever. One of the best things I've ever done.

lindsey v said...

I don't think it's common for people to comment that often about someone (your wife) being so pretty. She just is one of the beautiful people in the world.

I'm one of the fat ladies at Costco waiting for my pizza and churro. But I don't wait for my husband - I just get it myself.