Monday, July 28, 2014

Free Hot Dogs on Saturdays!

Erma had run the local tee shirt place for over 17 years.  It had been a steady business, with tourists making up over 70% of her business. Her best seller had always been the heart tee. It was a tee shirt with a heart on it. This remained her best seller until the release of the smiley face tee shirt, an instant classic.

Things really started taking off for Erma when she began selling tee shirts with wolves on them. Even though there were no wolves native to Kissimmee, Florida, the tourists loved them. When she added the wolf on camouflage combo shirt, the tourists went berserk, buying up boxes to take back to their relatives.

When a competing tee shirt stand opened up down the street, selling shirts with bears on them and clever bear sayings, it was time for Erma to take things to the next level. She decided to offer free hot dogs on Saturdays.

Erma underestimated how much people truly love free hot dogs. Lines formed around the block for her dogs. The first day, she ran out of hot dogs in just under an hour. The second day, her hot dog stand was overrun by free hot dog ruffians, the worst kind of ruffian. She began hiring guard wolves to guard the stand. Once she hired the wolves, her wolf shirts started selling like hotcakes. If only they sold like the hot dogs.

Things were really going well for Erma until the hot dog stand opened across the street. She figured that they hadn’t realized that she was offering free hot dogs and would quickly move to a better location.

Much to her dismay, not only did the hot dog stand stay, but they started offering free tee shirts on Saturdays. Erma knew that there is only one thing Americans love more than free hot dogs and that is free tee shirts.

The hot dog stand gave away free wolf tee shirts on camouflage every Saturday. The tee shirt store continued to give away free hot dogs every Saturday. Both went out of business within three months.

Erma learned a valuable lesson the day she closed up shop, and one everyone should follow: Americans love free crap. 

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