Official apology for yesterday's statements.

During a moment of passionate passion and righteous indignation, I made some unfortunate comments about Thurl Bailey and a few other obscenely rude people that disrespected my family that I would like to apologize for.

First of all, when I said I "hated the scent of pine trees" I only meant the pine trees that were at the concert I attended ten years ago. I have no ill will towards other pine trees.

Secondly, Brighton High School has nice stairs and the banisters are well kept. When I stated that I hated Brighton High School, I was referring to only the staff, students and the soda machines. I did not mean to imply that I hated the stairs and banisters. I apologize for those generalizations.

I would also like to pardon my comments about carols. I don't hate carols, I just hate the people that sing them. And to Big T, I say this: I am sorry you had to sing to a row of empty chairs that night, but my hands were tied; people were being rude!

I now realize (because someone else had to tell me) that my comments were ill timed and unbecoming of a former Forgotten Carol audience member. However, I stand by my statement. I was disrespected by some punk 4th graders and their mother. So, I only hate them and Brighton High School. Everyone else is off the hook. You can sleep well at night knowing I don't hate you. I still hate Brighton High School. And I hate really long tube socks too, but that is neither here nor there.

So, in summary: I still hate everything I said I hated (except for the stairs and banister) but I wanted you to get a better idea why I hate it. I apologize for not being more clear. That is my apology and I'm sticking to it. God bless us all, Tiny Tim.