Things I miss at Disneyland

Hello Blog O' Cheese crew. Why don't we all hold hands and travel down the road of fond memories and nostalgic times. (Figuratively speaking... unless you would like to all get together some time and hold hands. But I have to warn you, my palms sweat like a pregnant mother's broken water, so I would suggest we stick with the figurative thing.)

As you may know, my family and I are official Disney aficionados. Heck, we love Disney so much we might as well grow blades in our feet and join the traveling "On Ice" show. We visit the magic kingdom at least once a year and we even refer to it lovingly as "our $350.00 a day home away from home... with churros". And while Disneyland has grown and improved over the years, there have been a few good things that have hit the chopping block. May I now present (hold on, let me get my Mickey ears on... okay, all set) the top 5 attractions that I miss the most at Disneyland.

5. The incredible shrinking machine ride. Okay, this ride closed when I was really young, but I swear I can remember it like it was 25 years ago - which it was. I don't remember a lot about this ride, except that my dad loved the thing and wanted to go on it over and over. However, the one thing I remember fondly is that when you are in line, you can watch the people on the ride going through some sort of magical portal that shrunk them to miniature proportions. As a 7 year old, it almost made it seem real. Even back in 1984, that Disney magic dust was working miracles.

4. Captain E-O - I can see why Disney finally axed this one, as a flaming Michael Jackson flailing around in space, dressed in a skin tight jump suit while rescuing strange fluffy aliens was not really the image that they wanted to portray in the early and mid 90's. Nevertheless, the 3-D effects were ahead of their time and the music was actually not too bad. I will say that it is ten times as good as that piece of garbage "Honey I Shrunk the Audience" they have playing now. Oh also, one year I bought a stuffed animal of that strange fluffy creature as my once yearly Disney-memento.

"You're just another part of me."

3. The ski lift over the park. This was a great way to get from one side of the park to the other while exerting zero energy. Plus, it went directly through the Matterhorn. Now, the Matterhorn has two giant, empty holes going through it like it has been hit by two enormous cannonballs. Apparently, people had been spitting and throwing pennies off the thing. I have come up with the perfect solution to this dilemma: Plexiglas.

2. The Singing and Bears - Look, the singing and dancing bears pretty much sucked. However, it was perfect distraction for 20 minutes. A place where you could get out of the sun and just sit. I know my mother-in-law and possibly my mother loved those stupid bears, but I never really got them. The thing was, the mechanical bear playing the giant jug never did anything but lean back and forward playing the giant jug. The bear playing the washboard did nothing but play the washboard every song. We're talking a maximum 3 mechanical movements here. Not exactly 21st century technology at work here. What I wanted to see was the bears jumping around and dancing about the stage. Maybe the bears could even come out into the audience and high five us?

Like I said, 20 minutes of rest was invaluable. Where are we supposed to go now? The Tiki Room? They don't even have chair backs and it's always raining in there.

1. The People Mover - I loved the people mover. I mean, I really loved that stupid thing! It was the only ride, no matter how crowded Disneyland was, that you could always walk on. Again, it gave you a break from the red hot, roasting asphalt that is Tommorowland. Plus as an added bonus, 2 minutes of Tron. Tron!!! While sitting on that thing, I often found myself wondering, "Is this really what the future of travel is really going to be like? Sitting on a plastic bench with a canopy over me, going in a giant circle at 4 miles an hour?" Clearly, Disney doesn't get everything right!

Now, I can understand having to remove some attractions and if they continue to build rides as great as that new Toy Story ride, I really can't complain. But did they really have to get rid of the People Mover?! Tron!!

*My thanks to Ike's facebook status for inspiring this post. Are you in the mood for that handholding session yet? I will bring a roll of paper towels.