It is nice that BYU football players put on a nice Fireside for the spiritual growth of the youth in Utah county. I, however, prefer my youth to get their spiritual growth elsewhere. I would never allow Lincoln to attend one of these functions. I would tell him to wait until Morgan Scalley gives a Fireside. Giving it much thought, I was able to come up with a list of things I would rather do than go to one of these BYU football promotional Firesides:
1. Finish the last 18 months of Max Hall's mission that he was not able to complete himself due to "health reasons" which he miraculously overcame to play D1 college football.
2. Spend a week in Fresno with nothing but $5.00, a baseball bat and a sleeping bag.
3. Eat another 99 cent shrimp cocktail at The Golden Nugget in Vegas. (Not a good idea.)
4. Name my next son "Bronco".
5. Make out with one of the "regular" coeds at the BYU Creamery.
6. Attend a Clay Aiken concert with nothing on but a sleeveless vest and biker shorts.
7. Poop my pants while running.
8. Take an elbow from Haffa.
9. Console John Beck when he has one of his crying fits.
10. Attend any other fireside, given by anyone else, ever.