Monday, November 17, 2008

Living right is much tougher than I thought. It will be worth it though.

I am fully invested in living right this week to further my quest for perfection. (Notice my very spiritual picture for today's entry. I am feeling it today!) Thus, I have made the following changes - for this week only:
I have visited my home teaching families three times already. Honestly, I think they are getting a little bit tired of seeing me.

I have begun traveling 10 miles below the posted speed limit.

I am not watching any TV shows that are rated anything worse than TV-PG

I have stopped shooting cats in my front yard with a BB gun.

I have stopped watching Dancing With The Stars because of the scantily clad women, especially that old lady with the cleavage.

I have forgiven Oprah for not returning my calls and emails. Tyra - You are not off the hook.

I have stopped making fun of orphaned midgets - I mean "little people".

I have been shaving everyday to stay in line with my own personal honor code, including my armpits. (Not sure if this is really necessary, but I did it, just to be sure.)

I have quit cold turkey on cold turkey. I now only eat oven baked ham; kosher of course.

I have fasted 4 hours a day, every day between the hours of 8:30 and 12:30. (Breakfast and lunch. Except that one time when I accidentally ate a Twix because I was hungry.)

I have not once “budded” in any line. (A common problem for First Graders, and their teachers.)

I have hugged everyone I have seen wearing a Bluetooth, and that's not easy!

My iPod is currently filled with hymns - and only the ones that have been missionary approved. Oh, and I have some Janis Capp Perry on there too. Love that lady!

I have not cursed once. I have Provo-ized all my anger words. I love saying "Fetching fetch!"

The American Red Cross called and although I will not be giving blood this week, I made them a firm promise that I would in the near future - (When the sign up sheet comes around in EQ again.)

I hosted an Elder’s Quorum dinner group and invited everyone assigned to us - even those I don’t like.

I shoveled our neighbor’s walks.

I have stopped practicing polygamy.

This all better pay off on Saturday cause this week has totally sucked. But hey, whatever it takes, right?


Tammy said...

I love "Fetching Fetch"! I haven't heard that one before! And you better be kidding about driving below the speed limit. There are already too many people I have to tailgate on the roads!

Kim said...

If you really want to be righteous, you must repeat "BYU is the Lord's chosen school--the only true school" three times before each prayer you say when you break your four-hour fast. If you do this faithfully for a month, you will surely be exalted.

Cheeseboy said...

Kim, if that is the case, I might as well accept the inevitable everlasting hell now.