Thursday, November 13, 2008

The benefits I receive from losing arguments.

I have never once won an argument with my wife. Over ten years of marriage and I am still waiting for my first victory. She is always calm, rational, levelheaded and logical. I, on the other hand, argue solely on emotion, which in turn makes me a rambling and slobbering mess; I make absolutely no sense and my closing statement is generally something along the lines of, “Oh yeah, well, we’ll just see!”

Let it be known that we have very, very few arguments. In fact, we might actually hold some sort of record for fewest disagreements between a married couple in the history of man. I can't even remember the last time we didn't see eye to eye, but it has been several months. However, occasionally we will have a difference of opinion or two.

It is because of my nauseating ten year losing streak that I must get a point in here and there, just to even things up. Because Cathi knows I “allow” her to win 100% of the arguments, she lets me get away with just a few minor things. Examples of our marriage levelers:

It is a well known fact that I generally have control over the remote.

The ratio of country crap music to good rock music in the car must be equal to or exceed a 30 to 70% ratio, unless the country music is Brad Paisley or The Dixie Chicks, in which case, we move the ratio to 35 to 65%, due to the fact that those are barely tolerable..

I get first dibs on leaving a boring Sacrament meeting to take out a crying kid.

I help in the household chores, but only the ones I want to do. I enjoy working the floors, but have a phobia to the restroom. Could be horrific memories from my days as a night custodian.

I am allowed to attend 6 football games a year, guilt free. Well, almost guilt free.

Now, given that the above items have become an addiction of sorts, I will continue to lose arguments to maintain our balance. Not that I wouldn’t trade it all for a single victory, because I certainly would. The problem seems to be that she is always right.

1 comment:

Tammy said...

I know Abe. Cathi's never been much of a fighter and nothing seems to make her angry or stressed out.

I completely forgot you were a janitor! That's probably Nathan's 2nd dream job (obviously the first would be a vacuum salesman).