Monday, November 24, 2008

A sad tale about a man, his stomach and a disturbing episode of Oprah.

When I woke up this morning, my belly was flipping around like a dolphin on an underwater tire swing. I attempted to teach but after one hour of struggling with a group of six year olds, I felt as though my tummy was going to explode through my esophagus. I told my Principal and he arranged for the PE teacher to take my class for the rest of the day.

I was however, able to accomplish the following tasks during my day in the doldrums:

Slept for 3 hours.

Listened to sports talk radio for two hours in bed. Got to rehash the entire game over and over.

Watch part of Oprah's special on pleasing your man.

I started to feel a bit better and attempted to go to my second job. I was promptly sent home for looking to pale. I told my boss that I am just a very white person. I then attempted to dance for her to prove it. Dancing with an upset stomach is in no way a good idea. Besides, my boss is not white and she could see right through my pathetically lame whirlybirds.

I am not sure what is causing my stomach to squeal, but I can give you a rundown of the food I ate this past weekend:

Friday night: Crown Burger - Cheeseburger, fries - lots of fries, soda. While playing games that night - a messload of M&M's, candy bars and more soda.

Saturday - Turkey, mashed potatoes & gravy, sweet potatoes, cinnamon apples, salad, rolls, pie and a bunch of other stuff - and that was just BEFORE the game. That night I had a turkey sandwich and more M&M's.

Sunday - More turkey, a goober-load of clam chowder, three rice-crispee squares and a giant ice cream sunday.

I am not positive, but I have the feeling that my diet this past weekend has something to do with my tummy troubles.


Tyler and Lyndsay said...

Get better Abe. Glad to see you can still manage to keep us all laughing even when you feel like crap. Thanks!

sacdaddy said...

I found a little clip I thought you may be interested in...

Lori said...

Hope you're feeling better Abe! Oh darn...I missed that Oprah. :)