I ALWAYS pick the eating establishment. ALWAYS!

Whenever we go out to eat, I am almost always the person that selects the destination. ALWAYS! No matter who we go out with or the price range we are looking at, I am always the only one with any cajones to stand up and say where I want to go. Here is a rundown of how these overwhelmingly frustrating conversations usually go:

Cathi: So, where do you want to go to dinner tonight?

Me: Hmm, I always choose. Someone else can choose.

Cathi: Well, I don’t care where we go.

Me: I don't care either. Well where does friend/relative want to go?

Cathi: I don’t know. Let me call them.

[Calls them.... they are waiting on the line.]

Cathi: They say they don’t care where we go.

Me: Well, I always choose. I am not choosing again. Did they give you any ideas?

Cathi: No, they say to have you choose.

Me: [pulling out my hair] I ALWAYS CHOOSE! Someone else needs to choose.

Cathi: [Back on the phone with them.] Abe says someone else needs to choose.

Cathi: [Back to me.] They say they really don’t care. They say wherever you want to go is fine, Abe.

Me: UGH! Okay, tell them I want to go to the Macaroni Grill.

Cathi: [Looking at me with a dissapointed stare] I don't think I want something that expensive, Abe.

Me: Well, you asked me what I wanted!

Cathi: [sighs] Well, let me ask them. [asks them]

Cathi: They say they don’t want something that expensive.

Me: Fine. How about Noodles & Co.

Cathi: They say they just went there the other night.

Me: [Making the shoot myself in the head sign with my fake finger gun] Fine, I am not choosing. Why am I choosing anyway? I told you I am not choosing.

Cathi: Hold on. [Talks to them on the phone] They say Noodles & Company is fine.

Me: What? No, no. They just went there. No, we can go somewhere different. Let’s just go to Training Table.

Cathi: Mmm. That sounds good to me.

[Back on the phone]

Cathi: They say that Training Table will be fine.

Abe: Are you sure, because we could go to Chinese or Café Rio?

Cathi: Hold on. [Talks on the phone] Well, now they say Café Rio sounds really good. Do you want to go there Abe?

Abe: Oh geez. What in the flying crap! (Actual text edited for sake of my mother.) I don’t know. I don't care! Whatever. I am not picking.

Cathi: Well, they are waiting for you Abe. They say it's your call!

Abe: My head is going to explode! Why am I the Godfather of going out? Alright. Training Table, but next time someone else has got to pick!!!

The next time we go out the entire cycle repeats itself, but we end up going to Café Rio. It is the dinner waltz that I dance so beautifully.