If Neil Diamond were Mormon...

• In our prayers, we would be thanking the Lord a whole heck of a lot more for the night time. 

• Missionaries would be allowed one hour without their companion to be a solitary man.

• We learn that in heaven we would wear blue jeans... forever.

• We would be less judgmental towards our heavy brotheren.

• Sacrament meeting greeters would greet each member with a "hello again!"

• The Word of Wisdom would be more lenient towards that sweet red, red wine.

• Old widows would no longer be brought any flowers of any kind.

• Loving your neighbor would be served up cold, on the rocks even.

• When graduating from the Young Women, the Bishop would announce, "Girl, you'll be a woman soon."

• The name "Holly" would be considered holy.

• Rhinestoned lined jackets in church are not only accepted, they are encouraged.