My son is already excited for his annual jaunt to Utah's beloved Lagoon. I, on the other hand, am not as thrilled about the excursion. In honor of this horrific occasion, I present to you the top ten things you get for your $48.95 all day passport:
10. 30 rides on a weekday, 5 on a Saturday.
9. Constant, bothersome urgings to pay $5.00 to throw a baseball at some bottles.
8. Chaffed thighs from riding the log flume and then walking around all day.
7. The opportunity to pay another $20.00 to go on some other rides that are not included in the passport.
6. The chance to see the nerds from your high school's drama class team up once again for Lagoon's famed "Broadway Rhythm Spectacular".
5. The chance to purchase a crappy hamburger for a mere $6.50.
4. A really bad sunburn.
3. Grumpy kids.
2. Sick, then better, then sick again.
1. Continual wishes that you were really in Disneyland.