I'd like to invent useless things and sell them on infomercials. If I were not teaching, I think that would be my profession of choice. I love to get my creative juices flowing. Here are some of my ideas:
1. An ice maker that makes ice that is flavored. You want a little lemon in your coke? Just toss in a couple of lemon flavored ice cubes. You want a little vanilla in your Dr. Pepper? Just toss in a few vanilla cubes. I very innovative idea I must say.
2. A seedless watermelon. Imagine, a watermelon with no seeds! No more spitting or accidentally swallowing the seeds. I have the physics of it figured out, I just need to get the project rolling. Those two years of agriculture classes at Utah State are finally starting to pay off.
3. A phone that is both a phone and an iPod. Imagine having a little music right on your cell phone. You want to talk a little, go ahead and talk. You want to listen to a stanza or two, go right on ahead. This idea is still in the planning stages, but imagine the
payoff. I think there is a very large pool of people that would spend a nickel or two for a gadget like this one.
4. Some sort of spray that you could spray in the eyes of bad guys. What's that you say? A bad guy wants your purse? Take some of this bad guy! SHHHHHHHH!! Right in the eyes, leaving him helpless and basically immobile. While he is lying on the ground in pain, a good swift kick to the jaw would be exactly what he deserves. Then, maybe sticking a table fork in his leg. An idea that is sure to cut down on the amount of street crime in this country. But it all starts with the spray. I have approached some developers with the idea, but so far no interest.
5. The sling, for monkeys. You have seen the women in the mall with their newborn in a sling around their neck? Well, as far as I know, nothing like this has been designed for monkeys. I know what you are thinking, "What would be the difference between the baby swing and the monkey sling?" Well, essentially, I would like to take all that is good about a baby sling and add to it. But really the only difference would be a long pocket on the side to hold bananas.
6. "A Bagfull Of Tinfoil" A game for country folk. The game is kind of be like "slug bug" but with a twist. It is fairly complex, but the rules are as follows: If you see a haystack, you have to yell, "STACK O'HAY, WHAT A BRIGHT DAY!" before the other farmers do. (Standard shotgun rules apply here.) If you do not say it before the others, you have 25 seconds to list as many Smurfs as you can think of. (example, Brainy, Papa, Dopey, Doc, Dasher, etc.) The person that says the least amount of Smurfs then has to buy everyone else one shot of chewing tobacco. If it is a tie, then the two that tie split the cost of the tobacco. If no one can think of a Smurf, everyone loses and the man that first saw the haystack gets to stick a fork in each of their legs. (Unless, of course, there is a man with a wooden leg, as many country folk have. In that case, the wooden legged man gets a free pass, which is just goes to show you that you should never play Bagfull of Tinfoil with a man with a wooden leg.)
If you like any of my ideas, please leave a note below. I will be contacting you and visiting your home to discuss future investment opportunities. Below is a diagram of my business model. (Just ignore the little sidebar on the graph.)