Friday, May 30, 2008

My endorsement for President is...

Since all of the other celebrities are endorsing their candidate, I would officially like to throw my hat in the ring along with them.  This is something I have always wanted to do...I would like to endorse...Barack Obama.  I was going to go with McCain but he recently released his health records and he officially has an "unremarkable buttocks except for some very light freckling."  I just cannot bring myself to vote for a man unless he has at least a "semi-remarkable buttocks with no freckles."  
I am also giving my full endorsement to Obama because all of my other celebrity friends have endorsed him including: Scarlet Johannson, The Black Eyed Peas, Oprah, George Clooney, Halley Barre and Hulk Hogan.  What the Hulk says, I say.  What the Hulk does, I do.   I pretty much do whatever celebrities tell me to.  It is kinda a good life rule. I figure, celebrities know more about life than the average person, right?  That is why they are celebrities.  If they knew very little about life, how could they become famous?  I mean, I am just famous for my blog, but if I didn't know a lot about life and stuff, I could not make a famous blog like the one that you are currently reading.  It all comes full circle and makes perfect sense.

In conclusion, I would like to say, "Vote for Obama! Some famous people including me are doing it."  I know what you are thinking, "for him to make this endorsement right now is absolute political pandering of the highest order."  To which I reply, "Okay, sure I am pandering, but you answer me this...what is pandering really?  No, I really don't know what that means. Can you tell me?"  To which you might reply, "It is sucking up to get your guy votes."  To which I would respond, "I am not a panderer!  You're a jerk face!  This conversation is over.  I need to go cut my toenails on the back porch because my wife gets mad at me if she finds my toenails on the ground in the house ."  So, as you can see, this endorsement is not about politics at all.  It is about one thing and one thing for Obama because he is the right man for the job as voted by the majority of celebrities. (Myself included as a "celeblogty").  

One final thing.  People get mad at Barack because he won't wear a flag pin on his lapel.  Well, in honor of the great Hulk Hogan, I won't wear one either.  Barack, you can thank me for this endorsement at your next Utah campaign stop.  God Bless America!  

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