Thursday, May 8, 2008

Sandler's Influence on the First Grade

People that constantly quote movies are very annoying.  BUT what if the people that they are quoting movies are unaware that they are quoting movies?   Are they annoying then?  The answer is no, because they don't even know what they should be annoyed about.  Therefore, I have justified my quoting in my classroom.  It is as simple as that.

My favorite thing to quote is Billy Madison.

One of my favorite times is when we have sloppy joes.  I say "SLOPPY JOES TODAY - I BET THEY"LL MAKE THEM EXTRA SHLOPPY FOR YOU!  I KNOWS HOW YOUS KIDS LIKE EM' SHLOPPY!"   

When nobody can get the answer to a question like "What is 100 plus 100?"  I love to tell them the answer and then say loudly, "I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!"

When we have a birthday I always sing the birthday song in my perfect "Opera Man" voice.  

Best of all, once a few years ago when a kid peed his pants at recess, I told all the laughing kids, "IT"S COOL TO PEE YOUR PANTS! PEEING YOUR PANTS IS THE COOLEST!"

A couple times a kid needed help putting on a jacket.  They asked, "Can you put this on?"  I then grabbed the jacket, jammed my arms through the sleeves and danced around singing "fat guy in a little coat.  Fat guy in a little coat!"

Another of my favorite things to do (and I just did it today) is the "Miyagi Clap".  When a kid has a clear  overdramatic injury and they are crying, I sit them down and tell them I have a special move that I learned from my mysterious friend, "Myaggi".  I then pull my hands apart and slap them together and rub furiously.  I then put my hands on their injury.  Within seconds, they are better and smiling.  It is a Karate Kid miracle!  Today, I completely healed an ankle.  Pat Morita is a genius.

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