Sunday, June 22, 2008

The Mormon Mom Blog

I have had some questions as to what constitutes a "Mormon Mom Blog".  Now, before I get into it, I must first make it very clear that I have nothing against these blogs.  Many (if not all) of my beloved sister-in-laws have blogs like these.  These blogs serve a very special purpose.  They allow woman of all races (mostly white), class (nearly 100% middle class) and religion (definitely mormon or at the very least inactive mormon.) to post pictures of their kids and talk about going to the zoo.  Nothing wrong with that!  So, I give you the qualifications of the Mormon Mom Blog:

1.  The blog must have a list of at least 10 other Mormon mom bloggers on the side.  The more, the better as it makes you look more popular.

2.  The blog usually has some reference to the church.  A picture of Jesus or a wedding picture in front of the temple will do.

3. The background pattern is so cutesy and overdone that it actually distracts from the actual posts.  There was one blog I was trying to read that had polka-dots all over it, even on the words.  All these women think that their background pattern is cute, but if they had to put it up as wallpaper in their bathroom, they would realize that it is oh so ugly.

4. Every post must be followed with at least 8 comments from fellow Mombloggers about how "totally cute" either the kids or the actual blogger is.

5. The music on the blog is either at best Jack Johnson, but at worst, Celine Dion or some other horrible crap.

6. There must be at least 2 "tags" on the blog.

7. The woman must rant and rave about how cute and silly their husband is.

8. The "about me" section almost always starts out, "I am a stay at home mom..."

9.  There are at least 3 pictures of kids in every post.

10. There is much discussion in these blogs about books recently read that were purchased at Deseret Book.

Now, if you own one of these blogs, please do not be offended.  As I said earlier, these blogs serve a valuable purpose.  They allow you to show off your cute kids to the masses.  They give you a forum to brag about their potty training.  It connects you to other people that you may not know, but are almost exactly like you.  I am simply answering the question, "What is the Mormon Mom Blog?"

I have actually found what appears to be a mormon mom blog site that I find very entertaining through cousin Tim's blog.  Maybe it is funny because she is not quite a mom yet.  **Correction - she is actually a mom.


Tammy said...

First of all I want to know why YOUR picture with Cathi isn't the one you used for your post!?!?

Thanks for clarifying mom-blogs. According to your list I must be a mom-blogger :). I'll have to see if I can find a picture of Christ since I don't have a temple wedding picture. My background isn't as distracting as some I've seen but that isn't from lack of trying :). I don't know 8 people to leave comments. I like Jack Johnson. I like "tags" even more! I forgot to list I'm a stay-at-home mome but maybe I should fix that :). And if I didn't post about my kids what would I post about?? You can only do so many posts on hypochondriacs :). And now this comment is getting too long but that's what happens with mom-bloggers . . . they talk a lot!

CaraDee said...

First off, since you might actually have some clout with your cousin, tell him and Brandi to POST.
Second, I found this strange ode to me from my feedburner stats. Very strange. I guess it's like a backhanded compliment, but "not quite a mom yet"? What does that mean?
and 3rd, there are plenty of "Non-Members" on my blogroll. I could just spit...

Cheeseboy said...

Oh crap. Sorry Cardee. I just realized that you are actually a mother already. I thought didn't have kids yet. I also apologize that you have nonmember's on your blog listy thing. Thirdly, after being very entertained by your blogging, I am very honored that you would even come here and comment. When referencing your blog, I should have actually said, "Here is an EXCEPTION to most of the Mormon Mom Blog cliches". Lastly, what the hell is a "feedburner stat"?

Eric said...

Yikes, I almost thought I qualified as a mom blog. Yeah, I use it mostly to show photos of my kids, but I don't have cheesy background patterns or music.

tim & brandi said...

If it weren't for #7 combined with the fact that we never seem to post any more, we'd be pretty offended by your list.

tim & brandi said...


I can't decide which I like more, the blog or the comments.


CaraDee said...

I must REALLY be a bad Mom Blogger, since you didn't realize I had the two brats...
I accept your apology because I can just sense the tail between your legs with each new word you typed.
A feedburner stat is like the sitemeter thingy. Just a different company I guess. It tells me who referred people to my site, where they went after they left, how many subscribers I have...all that good stuff. I had to come check you out after I had 6 hits from you....Thank you very much by the way..ha
And Brandi, yes, the comments are the best!