There are unfortunate tragedies in the life of a teacher, one of which is the end of spring break. We spent the weekend at the home of my in-laws in vacuously sublime, backwardly bizzare Leeds, Utah.
Leeds is a small town, just 10 miles North of St. George. The town is so small, for fun, the folks there tie up their cattle to the back of their four-wheelers and take them for lovely jaunts around town.
I feel compelled to show you something I spotted while jogging one brisk Leedsy eve. I spotted this parked truck and had to come back to snatch a picture.
Hm, paintballs, violins AND FOOD STORAGE?! This is a dream company come true! Definitely time to call them up...
Hello? Yes, I was wondering if you have paintballs? My son is having a birthday party in a couple months and he enjoys shooting people in the face with paint.
Why yes. Yes we have paintballs.
We also want to ensure that the losers are serenaded to Schubert's "Death and the Maiden" as they walk off the battlefield. You don't happen to know where we could get some violins, do you?
Okay. Well, we have violins.
NO WAY! And we already bought the cake. You don't have a way to store it, do you?
Why yes. In fact we do!
Your business... why, I'm just going to say it: It's some sort of genius operation you've got there!
We do have the very best for your paintball/violin/food storage needs.
I'll be darned if you don't. I'll be sure to refer you to all my friends.
Goodbye dear chap!
(I always end my phone conversations with "dear chap". It's refreshingly charming and makes me sound like I run a veterinarian clinic in the English countryside. If there's one thing I've learned in my 33 years of life it is this: no one hates a charming English bumpkin with a love for healing country livestock and the like.)