One of my first graders checked out what they called the "2009 Genius Book of World Records" from the library today. (Every time they ask the librarian for the "Genius Book" it cracks me up.)
There was something in it that she just HAD to show me:
LUCY: Mr. Cheeseboy! Look at this! (Holds up the book.) The WORLD'S BIGGEST CHOPSTICKS!
ME: That's great Lucy. Wow. Cool.
LUCY: I know! (She runs away to show her friends.)
Now, I know I humored this kid and acted like these "chopsticks" were an amazing feat. However, I was thinking:
SOME DUDE GLUES A FEW TWO BY FOURS TOGETHER, CALLS THEM CHOPSTICKS AND GETS INTO THE WORLD RECORD BOOK?! WHAT THE #@%&!
Thus, I decided that I too belong in the Genius Book of Records. I spent all afternoon taking pictures of stuff around the house and I am officially submitting these items to the record book:
1. I am submitting this as the "WORLD'S SMALLEST DUMPSTER". (I will not be doing any posts from inside.)
2. I am submitting this as the "WORLD'S BIGGEST DOG HOUSE". (Really just my garage, but don't tell them that.)
3. I am submitting this as the "WORLD'S LARGEST TOOTHPICK". (Surely, I will win. No one can top the size of this toothpick in my front yard.)
4. I am submitting this as "WORLD'S HOTTEST WIFE". - NO WAY I LOSE THIS ONE EITHER!!!