Why does stuff like this always seem to happen to me?

It seems that every time I go get paper for our church library at the Office Depot, something strange or embarrassing happens. Last January, I was cornered by an unhinged pyromaniac. Today, I would have killed for that pyromaniac.

I picked up six boxes of paper and loaded it the best I could in one of those plastic shopping carts. The paper was stacked three feet above the rim and I gingerly balanced the load and headed out to my car.

While walking to my automobile, I noticed an oncoming speed bump. Because I was traveling at 1.4 miles per hour, I did not anticipate that there would be a problem. Boy was I wrong!

As soon as I hit the bump, the entire cart flipped over on it's side. A couple of boxes did not have those plastic ties around them and they flopped open, reams of paper skirting across the pavement. One of the reams ripped open and 500 sheets of paper flew in every direction.

If you have ever been to the Ft. Union Office Depot parking lot, it is a very busy place. I held up dozens of cars as I frantically pulled in every paper I could and restored the lids to the boxes. A kind women actually jumped out of her car to lend a hand. My luck just kept getting better as it happened to be a windy day.

After what seemed to be an eternity and hundreds of cars driving around and through my mess, I finally wheeled what was left of the paper to my car. I thanked the woman profusely and peeled out of the parking lot. I have had a lot of embarrassing moments in my life, but this ranks up there with the best of them.

DARNED SPEED BUMPS ALWAYS GET ME!