Monday, June 15, 2009

Mormon Youth Treks are STILL LAME and they ARE NOT created equal!

Over a year ago, I posted a very controversial opinion post on why Mormon Youth Treks are ridiculously lame. This post was made before I realized my blog was on all the major search engines and as a result, I had pimple faced twerps from all across the beehive state commenting on how I am going to hell for my blasphemy. (Well, maybe not "hell", but surely I am going to "heck", which, I have been told, is similar to being sent to Moroni, UT.) Sure, I agree with them that I am going to hell, but it won't be for the blasphemy.

Well, I am back for another round.

As you may recall, Cathi participated in a trek last year. You may read about her experience here.

My nephew just returned from "trek" in which he participated in all of the obligatory activities such as walking, having to stop to listen to old men wearing dorky hats talk every few miles and of course... burying dolls.

Here's the kicker: My nephew, who is a great kid by the way, ate like a king - while Cathi suffered with mush and water and at one point was forced to eat a cold piece of Spam. (**Spam, the official canned meat of the Pioneer trek experience)
I quote from his blog:
Q: What did you eat?
A: Actually, they gave us really good food. Sorry you had it so bad Cath. I had hamburgers, french toast, a different cobbler every night, subs for lunch, teriyaki chicken. We were spoiled with food. I think I actually gained weight there, hahaha.

[He's simply is mocking her with his staggeringly amazing meals]

On top of the buffet of good eating, my nephew was able to sleep in tents. TENTS!?! Cathi, on the other hand, was forced to lie down a large tarp with her family, put her sleeping bag under it and then put a tarp on top of that. Heaven help them if it rained.

Again, from my nephew's blog:
Q: Where did you sleep?
A: In a tent, obviously. haha. But, I had a sleeping bag. The one thing they wouldn't let us bring were pillows but my clothes that I wore the whole day worked as a pretty good cushion. :)

[Now, a clear sneer at Cathi and her tarp of death]

This was no trek that he was on - this was a joyous, bedazzling gallivant through the meadows with a picnic basket full of Dove chocolate eggs and honey-dipped Slim Jims. Clearly, my nephew was reenacting the east side pioneers and Cathi was stuck with the west-siders that park their extra covered wagons on their lawns.

At least both Cathi and my nephew have one thing in common:
Q: What was the worst part of Trek?
A: Worst part of trek was probably the fact that we took so many breaks. We'd have a good pace going and then they would make us take a 10-15 minute break like every mile or so and it really made you feel lazy and sore. I'd rather just charge through it and get it finished.


Trek is still lame.


Stacy said...

Remind me never to live in your stake. Our trekkers ate pretty well and could pretty much bring any hygeine item they could fit in their bucket or were willing to carry. You'd better be careful with the whining, or you might end up "volunteering" for trek too!

Tammy said...

Funny post Abe!

Esther said...

Wait! you have a nephew old enough to go on trek? Weird! You're old! I guess I can't be talking because my oldest nephew is 20!

Lori said...

Oh, make me laugh!

Hey, I have a brilliant idea! Why don't you guys pack your stuff and move into a home near us. That way, if Cathi DOES have to go on Trek again, it will be more enjoyable! Gosh, I love that idea!

Lori said...

Oh, and I'll be sure to warn Brandon to watch out for the Fans and Paparazzi now that he's been featured on the "Blog O' Cheese."

Great, he just got his drivers license you he's going to have all your readers chasing him down...that's all that I needed! :)