A few months ago, I purchased a sweet-A pair of camo shorts. They are not government issued, but they might as well have been. They have become my official uniform for the summer of '09. I can't stop wearing them. I've tried, really I have - but the camo has become one with my thighs. It's become like that flubber stuff from the Disney movie; except it does not help me a lick in basketball and it's camo colored.
At any rate, I been wondering if in ten years I will look back at my camo days and say, "WHAT WAS I THINKING?!" It has happened before. Here are some of my favorite unfortunate and embarrassing fashion statements I have made in the past:
1. The leather braided belt. Okay, I know I am not the only one that made this fashion faux pas. Thousands upon millions of guys were wearing these atrocities in the early 90's. Of course, a braided belt look was not complete if you did not tuck in the extra length, creating a sort of 90's style front tail.
2. The bolo tie. I loved the bolo tie. Simply wrap around the neck and slide. I actually owned several bolo ties - each one a treasure. When I was 13, I tended to lean toward wearing my favorite bolo tie - my prized possession - the Eagle Scout bolo tie! I wore it with pride.
3. Guess Jeans. I begged my mom for some Guess Jeans. I actually wanted Girbaud jeans, with the white tag on the fly, which I did finally receive at a later date. Guess jeans were the next best thing. My mom must have found a killer deal on a pair, because she bought me the ugliest jeans in the world. They were mostly blue but had white speckles throughout them. What made them even worse was their fluffy front that made them look exactly like mom jeans - white speckled mom jeans with a fluffy, frilly front. I could have cared less - they had the Guess insignia on the back and that's all that mattered.
4. My black Magic Johnson tee shirt with neon highlights and glitter sprinkles. This one is pretty self explanatory. In 8th grade, I wore this piece of work every chance I got. I am surprised that it didn't get me a single lady. Not even a phone number. Didn't they see the sprinkles?!
5. Last, but not least, my all time favorite item I am outing from my closet are my braided suspenders. No, wearing a braided belt was not enough. The braids needed to extend beyond the belt. The braids were calling to my shoulders and my shoulders welcomed them. Wearing the braided belt WITH the braided suspenders was like a weaved, leather boy-dream come true. I am not ashamed to say that there were a few Sundays that I combined the braided belt, the braided suspenders and the Eagle Scout bolo tie, all into one outfit. It was the ultimate trio of coolness and it was not to be ignored.