Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Yo, Holl - E - Wood... I'm ready for my cameos!

I'd eat a roasted eyeball out of the rotted carcass of a deer.

Sure, I'd do it if it meant a chance to spend a couple days in the wilderness with Bear Grills. That would be AWESOME! I also don't mind drinking my own urine out of a snakeskin... I'd finally have something to blog about.

Bear Gryls is the coolest. He is the coolest of cools. Yes, much of his show is an elaborate hoax to make us believe he is actually in danger and I'm sure his crew hand him Slim Jims when the cameras are off.

Nevertheless, put me out there. I volunteer. Surely, the Discovery Channel would be interested in a superstar cameo by a superstar blogger with a growing number of readers. I may not be Will Farrell, but I can guarantee at least 40-50 viewers.

While I'm at it, I'd also like to make cameos in the following shows: (Networks: have you people call my manager)

Antiques Roadshow: I don't really have any antiques. I just want to be the guy that guesses how much people's crap is worth. I'm really skilled at this when I watch at home. What year was that teacup made? 1863? Well, it's got a chip in the brim so I'd say 28 bucks.... Brrrring "1863 tea cup $15 - $48".

The Hills

Whitney: I’m going to New York tomorrow.

Lauren: Oh wow quick.

Whitney: That’s like right away. I mean that’s how Kelly works, you know, when she wants you, she wants you and you just gotta do it. I don’t even know for how long I’m supposed to be there for so it’s a little nerve wracking. I don’t really know exactly what to plan for.

Lauren: Just pack lots of black.

Whitney: Pack lots of black, exactly.

Lauren: You’ll do fine. It’ll be good.

Whitney: Okay so let’s talk about Doug. What’s going on with him?

Abe: Yeah, what is with that guy? He's been a total turd wad lately.

Chuck I think it would be just superbly first rate if I could play the ex boyfriend of the FBI gal that protects Chuck. Maybe she still has feelings for him or something. I'm just saying.

Punked It seems to me that you haven't arrived in Hollywood town until Ashton Kutcher has pulled down your pants and laughed at your thong. You are on notice Ashton. My thong is on and I'm wearing my baggy parachute pants.


sacdaddy said...

Thursday 6/11. 311? I got your ticket if you want it. If not for 311, Ziggy Marley opens...Lemme know. (Still working on Snoop and SS)

Nice thong btw.

Cheeseboy said...

Yes Steve. I am pretty sure I am in. Let me ask Cathi tonight to make sure.

I'll wear my thong to the concert.

Gardner said...

I am surpised you pick Lauren and Whitney to make fun of. I think you could get more out Spencer and Heidi.

Heidi: "I love you Spenc! But you I can't be with You!"

Spencer: "I can change Heidi"

Heidi: "Okay let's get married!I am ready for my dream wedding"

Cheeseboy said...

HA HA! Mel - I have no idea who any of them are. I just pulled up the first transcript that came up on the internet and inserted my name in there.

I have actually never watched the show.

But - I still want to make a cameo.

Tammy said...

I bet you couldn't guess that I'm a fan of "The Hills" :) When I heard Lauren was doing her last show I was crushed thinking it would be going off the air but it sounds like it might turn into the Heidi and Spencer show and they are full of drama . . . . love it!

Cheeseboy said...

Tammy - I have no idea - nor do I want to have an idea of what you are talking about.