I'd eat a roasted eyeball out of the rotted carcass of a deer.
Sure, I'd do it if it meant a chance to spend a couple days in the wilderness with Bear Grills. That would be AWESOME! I also don't mind drinking my own urine out of a snakeskin... I'd finally have something to blog about.
Bear Gryls is the coolest. He is the coolest of cools. Yes, much of his show is an elaborate hoax to make us believe he is actually in danger and I'm sure his crew hand him Slim Jims when the cameras are off.
Nevertheless, put me out there. I volunteer. Surely, the Discovery Channel would be interested in a superstar cameo by a superstar blogger with a growing number of readers. I may not be Will Farrell, but I can guarantee at least 40-50 viewers.
While I'm at it, I'd also like to make cameos in the following shows: (Networks: have you people call my manager)
Antiques Roadshow: I don't really have any antiques. I just want to be the guy that guesses how much people's crap is worth. I'm really skilled at this when I watch at home. What year was that teacup made? 1863? Well, it's got a chip in the brim so I'd say 28 bucks.... Brrrring "1863 tea cup $15 - $48".
Whitney: I’m going to New York tomorrow.
Lauren: Oh wow quick.
Whitney: That’s like right away. I mean that’s how Kelly works, you know, when she wants you, she wants you and you just gotta do it. I don’t even know for how long I’m supposed to be there for so it’s a little nerve wracking. I don’t really know exactly what to plan for.
Lauren: Just pack lots of black.
Whitney: Pack lots of black, exactly.
Lauren: You’ll do fine. It’ll be good.
Whitney: Okay so let’s talk about Doug. What’s going on with him?
Abe: Yeah, what is with that guy? He's been a total turd wad lately.
Chuck I think it would be just superbly first rate if I could play the ex boyfriend of the FBI gal that protects Chuck. Maybe she still has feelings for him or something. I'm just saying.
Punked It seems to me that you haven't arrived in Hollywood town until Ashton Kutcher has pulled down your pants and laughed at your thong. You are on notice Ashton. My thong is on and I'm wearing my baggy parachute pants.