Sunday, June 21, 2009

2 kids - Enough for me!

Today is my day. Father's Day. It's one of the few days I can expect a few extra perks and fringe benefits for being a father. I was treated very nicely and beside a few squeals and screams between the boys while I was trying to sleep in, I was treated pretty well today. It was a good day.

Because it is Father's Day and because of some confusion caused by a recent post, today is the perfect day to explain why I love being the father of two awesome boys and only two awesome boys.

Two kids is perfect. It's an ideal his and hers adorable, jocular, carry-on luggage pack. One for her, one for him - just hold their handles and off you go. Two hand-holding, delightful, pint sized human beings, eager to please. You can take them anywhere: church, the zoo, a restaurant - if something goes wrong, there are two of you to take care of the problem.

Two kids fit comfortably in the back seat of a car. No minivan needed. (Which didn't stop us from getting one anyway) It takes me 20 minutes to buckle one booster seat belt, and when I finally get the danged thing on, Calder is stifled and grasping for air.

As an aside, I would just like to say that one of Cathi's goals in life is to have the boy's seat belts so tight that they cut off their circulation. She does this because, of course, she wants them safe. When I'm required to buckle, I swear I'm in some sort of Survivor game. First, I have to piece together the buckle itself like it's an Indiana Jones rubix cube. When I finally get the darned buckle put together, the real work begins. I must exhort every ounce of upper arm strength to stretch the belt down the length of my son's chest. Park near us and you may one day hear the shrill sound of Cheeseboy screaming his lungs out at the stinking, ultra-tight seat belt that just won't fit around the torso of his son. For extra entertainment, park near us when Calder is wearing a thick, winter coat. You may actually hear a curse word or two. And not the fake, Mormon curse words either. We're talking the biggies.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Ah yes, two kids. I love going places with two kids. Not overwhelming at all. We don't even need a single stroller anymore. I can keep an eye on one, Cathi on the other. One more kid and they outnumber us! That's exactly what they want - to outnumber the grown ups. Then the sinister plans for a secret overthrow can begin. We can't let that happen, can we?

It seems that our two kids have bonded like bossom buddies - and not the Tom Hanks, cross dressing kind either. (Well, at least not yet... fingers crossed) Sure, they have their quarelsome moments, but they genuinely like each other. Lincoln will take Calder anywhere he goes, and that includes to a friend's house. When we tell Lincoln that Calder can't go, sometimes Lincoln will be the one that gets upset. When Lincoln is gone, Calder is always asking, "Where's my Linky? Where's my Linky?" Ahhhhh - yes, it is as cute as it sounds. (Noting that my poll states that most of my readers are women, I am really trying to kiss up here. Hope it's working While I am kissing up, let me mention a few more things that might get you ladies excited: Cheesecake, Ty Pennington, trips to the bathroom, potpouri, a good talk with a hot beverage, Oprah. I aim to please)

Yes, I have become very content with my two boys. I am pretty sure they are content as well. They have never really asked for another brother or sister; they pretty much just like being together - and who can blame them? They make a pretty cool pair.



I should probably ask Cathi if she is content...

9 comments:

Esther said...

Uh. I'm pretty sure that I got both Lincoln and Calder to ask you guys for a little sister. Maybe you should ask them as well if they want a sibling! But I can see why you'd want to stop. . .why mess with perfection?

Mackenzie said...

SHE'S NOT! Sorry Abe ;)

Ike said...

Maybe you should ask God?

Cheeseboy said...

Ike - I don't need to ask God, I've already made up my mind. Also, God has like a billion kids, so I already know what He'd say.

Lindsey V said...

So you know that now you will be having another one right? As soon as you say you have enough then all of a sudden
*BEDAZZLE*
you're expecting a little accident.

granny.yospe said...

sad.........

Tammy said...

Hmmm. I wonder why my blog roll never updates your blog when it should! I didn't know you had a new post until today . . . a day late!

I agree with almost everything you said in this post and that's why we only have two boys too!

Clark said...

Ask how Jacob, Ike and Jordan would have felt if we had done the same? Never say never.

Lori said...

Hey, I have a great idea. I'll lend you two of my kids for a week and you can try out the "4 kid" family plan. How does that sound? :)