Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Cease To Exist Order: People Edition

I hereby order the following Cease To Exist Order for the following people:

(They may still live, you may just no longer bother me)

1. Carole Mikita - You may still exist, just not on my television.

2. Robert J. DeBry - Your commercials have to go, but we will still stop by for the $5 helmets for the kids.

3. Sarah Palin - Although, I am a little concerned that you are the only thing standing in the way of Russia from attacking. However, your goofy husband in the idiotic snowmobile jumpsuit may stay.

4. The 7-11 guy that has to mop the slurpee area at the exact time I enter the store - every time! Maybe it's just that slurpees make such a big mess that they just hire a guy that mops up the area all day, every day? I always feel like an idiot when I walk on a freshly mopped floor in a public place. I put my arms out, like I'm walking a tightrope or something. It's embarrassing!

5. The guy that wades through piles of horrible reviews to find the one or two good quotes to put on the box of a DVD. Bride Wars -"A funny, self-consciously, good natured, frothy piece of escapism." - Omaha Online. First of all, I watched the movie and, well, it sucked. Secondly, I've never heard of Omaha Online. You must really be stretching if you are quoting them.

6. The 22 year old guy that drives his piece of crap car up and down our street with the bass so loud I could swear he is being chased by a T-Rex.

You are all on notice.

*** The Blog O' Cheese will be going on hiatus for the next 5 days. I promise to return on Sunday with something I will think is hilarious, but you will probably think is, eh. So, look forward to that.


granny.yospe said...

Abe, please refer to comments on Video Blog Day #1--for clarification reasons--and I loved tending your kids. It was fun.

Clark said...

I like Carol McKieta (I know it's spelled wrong but you know who I am talking about). She is a little funny looking, but much cuter in real life. And please note, what happens at the cabin, stays at the cabin. No blogging about your odd and funny family, not that you are not one of us.
Love Dad

granny.yospe said...

Blog about us all you want to. I love to see my name in print!

Lori said...

Hmmm, maybe the 7-11 guy thinks you look like a "spiller", so he heads your way just in case.

Corey, Ashlee, Jack and Alaster said...

Carol Mikita drives me CRAZY! One thing I will NOT miss about Utah... the local news folks. I thought Bride Wars was hillarious though! Maybe it's a girl thing. Hope you guys are well!

CaraDee said...

Bride Wars was pure drivel. Horrible. And I hate Carole Mikita too. The way she says Tonga. "Toe-nge" all superior.