Friday, June 26, 2009

Lagoon is um, okay.

Lagoon yesterday.

Lincoln rode his first "big" roller coaster and then rode 18 more.

If my kids were not so thrilled about the place, I would have zero desire to ever go there again.

At least not for 9 straight hours.

Lagoon seems to be the owner of the title "Amusement Park With Things That Spin".

Everything spins. Even all the kids rides go in circles. That big pirate ship doesn't do circles, but it still makes me sick.

The thing is, I can go on about 4 rides at Lagoon and then I am in for. I've always been that way - even as a kid. I have the equilibrium of a drunken, newborn calf - but without all that gross horse afterbirth hanging off of me.

There are about 3 rides at Lagoon that won't make me sick: the sky ride, the haunted houses and the... uh...

Okay, two rides that won't make me sick.

Everything in that place spins, rotates or twists. I could just stay at home and run in circles you know. If I wanted to get really dizzy, I could run extra fast. If I wanted to hang upside down, I would buy a bar for my doorway. If I wanted to puke, I watch Lincoln bite his toe nails some more.

The best part of Lagoon is that all this spinning, dipping and nausea is done under the rays of a 1000 degree day. And finding shade in Lagoon is a little like finding a Starbucks in Provo.

I rode Wicked, Colossus, the Spider, and the Roller Coaster all within an hour. After the fourth ride, I felt as though I would pass out right on the sizzling pavement and they would have to pry my burnt and crusted body off the ground using a flat shovel and a four wheeler with a bucket on the back of it.

Alas, what made it all worth it was the faces of my two boys, who had a blast. Dizziness does not seem to bother them. Lagoon, after all, is for the kids. They must take after their mother.

Who would give alcohol to a baby colt anyway? That is just irresponsible.


Tammy said...

Abe, I didn't know you didn't like wild, spinning, crazy rides! Every year you and Cathi take off and I assumed you guys were riding all the big rides a million times. I can't believe I didn't get a single picture of you yesterday and now there isn't one on your blog either. Do you have one? Send it my way if so!

Lindsey V said...

I'm the same. I've always gotten a bit queasy at Lagoon. As a kid I just had to wander around by myself because I didn't want to go on any more dizzying rides and everyone else did. I would just take turns with the sky ride and the cars. I know how to have fun.