As finance clerk, I have the unfortunate responsibility of purchasing paper for the ward library. I have no idea how I obtained this chore other than it has been passed down from one finance clerk generation to the next; until at last, I find myself every four months buying 4 boxes of paper at the Office Depot.
Today I decided to go all out and get five boxes; that might buy me an extra month or two. I piled the boxes into my cart and pushed my way to the checkout stand.
It was there that I met Pete, or Timmy, or Sam. I'm not really sure of his actual name, but he was a seventeen year old freak. Our conversation went something like this, and mind you I am in no way exaggerating anything that was said.
Pete: Wow! That is a ton of paper. Hardly anyone ever buys that much paper. Is it almost gone over there or something?
Cheeseboy: No, I just needed to buy a lot of paper.
Pete: I bet you could make a HUGE fire with all that paper. We had all this extra paper once and we made a huge bonfire.
Cheeseboy: Oh yeah?
Pete: You going to make a fire with it? - cause I bet it would huge!
Cheeseboy: It's actually for my church.
Pete: Ah, gotcha. Alright, here's your receipt.
Cheeseboy: Thanks a lot, have a good day.
Pete: You too. Let me know if you ever want to start that fire.
I am still not sure if he was kidding or not, but by his freakish nature, I am guessing not. This by far was the strangest character I have ever come across at an Office Depot, and that's saying a lot because those places are loaded with them. Just go into any Office Depot and ask for a laser pointer and sit back and watch the fireworks.
I won't even go into the conversations I had today with ward members that were angry about there being no paper in the library this past week. Well, maybe I'll go into tomorrow.