The cover story of this issue amazingly had nothing to do Britt shaving her kid's hair or Lohan's lesbian love triangles. Instead, the focus of the issue was, "Top ten best and worst celebrity beach bods of 2008."
I skimmed through the pages and stopped at the #8 worst beach bod: Ewan McGregor. There I sat, in stunned silence as it hit me: My body shape and size is an exact replica of Ewan's in the photo.
Now, I'm not saying that I have a good body by any means; white skin (Jewish style), hair, slightly indented chest, small, rounded belly. I mean sure, I'm no Matthew McConaughey, but I'm no Kevin James either. In addition, I am positive they caught Ewan on a very bad week.
I am not easily offended, but I was scarred beyond belief by this photo. Granted, at least I don't have the #1 worst beach bod in Hollywood. But to say that my body is worse than Rossanne Barr's or Oprah's is just ridiculous. (Have you heard? -Oprah weighs over 200 lbs now.) What are they doing "rating" bodies anyway? And who does the ratings? I'd like to see their bodies! That's right - I'm calling you out - guys and gals that rate bodies for Star magazine! I think I'll start a new magazine and call it "Top ten worst Star reporter beach bods." Maybe, just maybe, Ewan and I will have a little piece of mind that our bodies are beautiful. In fact, ever since primary, I have been told that my body is like a temple - and not the low class, dated Provo temple either. We're talking the swank, chissled San Diego temple here! So take that, Star magazine!