Tuesday, January 20, 2009

In real life, my school teaching is making me feel nuts.


When I take off my teacher cape and transform into a normal member of everyday society, I often find myself fighting back horrible "teacher tendencies". Many social circumstances warrant a teacher's stern voice and it often takes every ounce of energy to hold my tongue. As is now customary on the Cheese blog, let me provide you with a few examples:
  • Upon seeing a child run through the aisles of Walmart, my first instinct is to yell, "WALK! WALK BUDDY. WE DON'T RUN IN THE HALLS. WE JUST DON'T DO IT."

  • While waiting behind someone at a drinking fountain, I so want to say, "1...2...3... OKAY, YOU'RE DONE!"

  • When seeing a child outside with their coat off in the cold, my immediate reaction is to say, "I thought I said 'no one leaves the classroom without getting their coat on first'".

  • While in line at Disneyland, when a child cuts in line to meet up with their family, my first instinct is to say, "Hey, no budding in line. You can go to the back of the line and be last please."

  • When listening to someone read out loud at church and they make a mistake, my first thought is, "Oh, that was an error of omission." Or, "That was a substitution error."

  • When reading someone's written notes, I can't help but analyze their handwriting. "Those B's are not fully formed - they need to go all the way up to the top line."

  • Upon seeing a child fall in public, I immediately want to head to my cupboard to get a band aide.

  • I want to tell total strangers to tie their shoes or they are going to fall and hurt themselves.

  • When I see pee on a public restroom floors, I get angry with the First Grade boys and want to keep them in from recess until someone fesses up to doing it.

  • During Elder's Quorum, I am irritated when people yell out answers rather than raise their hands.

  • I have become much more aware of the appropriate decibel level of an "inside voice" and am bothered when folks knowingly violate this level.

Clearly, I need some sort of mental evaluation. I can't continue to walk around Salt Lake City, worrying about people's untied shoes and restroom behavior. It's just not right. It's just not right.

10 comments:

Lori said...

Abe,
I give you all the credit in the world being a teacher. I know you do a great job! I hope for your sake Barack will actually make a difference in helping our nation's schools get what they deserve to give our kids the education to become the leaders that they should be and pay you a little more money without taking all my income from taxes.;)
Mike

Tammy said...

I love the one about the drinking fountain!
And with the exception of a few things, you not only sound like a school teacher but also like a MOTHER! Welcome to our world :)

Tammy said...

There's a little girl in Nathan's class that is really struggling still. Every week when I go in she's wearing this thin sweater outside to recess. I finally asked her about it and she told me she doesn't have a winter coat. As a mother, I was totally prepared to go get one for her but as I talked to her teacher she said the little girl does own a coat but refuses to put it on because it's "too much work".

I agree with Lori . . . you deserve so much credit for all you do! Especially since the kids aren't blood relatives!

Anonymous said...

Um...that wasn't me who made that comment, that was my dear husband Mike. However, I do agree that Abe is probably the best first grade teacher out there!

Amanda L. said...

I agree with Tammy...that you sound just like a mother.

CaraDee said...

I was walking in the halls at my son's school and I witnessed the counting at the drinking fountain by the teacher. It was very disturbing to me. Like he would say 1, 2, 3 Next...or something like that. I felt like it was demeaning. Like, what if that kid is still thirsty? But that's because I would still be thirsty. HA.
I feel like that in Young Women's. Sometimes they bug me and I make them raise their hands. Sometimes I loudly ask them where their coats are. Like a moron. So it isn't just teachers, it's moms too. blah

Cheeseboy said...

Cara - the counting is disturbing, I will admit. But without it, we could spend all day long at the drinking fountain.

If it makes you feel any better, I have them count when we all come back in from recess or PE, but if they are still thirsty I allow them to get another drink a few minutes later if they ask me.

Lori said...

Oops! How did my name now get to Anonymous?

Cheeseboy said...

It's good to now know I am Mormon, a Mom and a blogger. I am officially a "Mormon Mom Blogger"

Kim said...

Or maybe us moms were first grade teachers in our previous lives.