In real life, my school teaching is making me feel nuts.

When I take off my teacher cape and transform into a normal member of everyday society, I often find myself fighting back horrible "teacher tendencies". Many social circumstances warrant a teacher's stern voice and it often takes every ounce of energy to hold my tongue. As is now customary on the Cheese blog, let me provide you with a few examples:

• Upon seeing a child run through the aisles of Walmart, my first instinct is to yell, "WALK! WALK BUDDY. WE DON'T RUN IN THE HALLS. WE JUST DON'T DO IT."


• While waiting behind someone at a drinking fountain, I so want to say, "1...2...3... OKAY, YOU'RE DONE!"


• When seeing a child outside with their coat off in the cold, my immediate reaction is to say, "I thought I said 'no one leaves the classroom without getting their coat on first'".


• While in line at Disneyland, when a child cuts in line to meet up with their family, my first instinct is to say, "Hey, no budding in line. You can go to the back of the line and be last please."


• When listening to someone read out loud at church and they make a mistake, my first thought is, "Oh, that was an error of omission." Or, "That was a substitution error."


• When reading someone's written notes, I can't help but analyze their handwriting. "Those B's are not fully formed - they need to go all the way up to the top line."


• Upon seeing a child fall in public, I immediately want to head to my cupboard to get a band aide.


• I want to tell total strangers to tie their shoes or they are going to fall and hurt themselves.


• When I see pee on a public restroom floors, I get angry with the First Grade boys and want to keep them in from recess until someone fesses up to doing it.


• During Elder's Quorum, I am irritated when people yell out answers rather than raise their hands.


• I have become much more aware of the appropriate decibel level of an "inside voice" and am bothered when folks knowingly violate this level.

Clearly, I need some sort of mental evaluation. I can't continue to walk around Salt Lake City, worrying about people's untied shoes and restroom behavior. It's just not right. It's just not right.