Monday, September 22, 2008

I hereby grant my first ever "Coolest Person I Know" award to none other than my cousin Tim.

If you read my blog frequently, you know that I have a cousin, Tim. He may be the coolest person I know.  I was fortunate enough to be friends with him a bit in high school and we even had a seminary together once.  Our seminary teacher was a total flake and I believe Tim and I were kicked out of class together more than once.  When we got together it was often a matter of one-upmanship, who could be the most outrageous or sarcastic.  This did not play well with our seminary teacher and our excuse of "it's okay, we're cousins" never played well with him.  I can honestly say that was the only class that I have ever been in trouble.  

Before my wife and I started dating, Tim had a biology class with Cathi in which, and I'm not sure about this, they dissected a frog together.  It was only a prelude of things to come with his cousin.  Not that I have ever dissected a frog with Cathi, but we have had it in our plans for awhile.  (Speaking of which, I was watching a Muppet Movie with Lincoln yesterday about Kermit as a baby frog.  The main story line was that Kermit was being held captive by an evil biology teacher that is planning on having his students dissect him.  I am not making that up.  That was really the plot.  Just a tad disturbing.)

I look up to this man for several reasons, the least of which is that I literally look up to him.  (He is 6-5  or something.)  Nevertheless, I give you yet another list.  This is a list of why my cousin Tim may be the coolest and most interesting person I know.  

1.  Tim loved and honored the movie "American Movie".  We watched it together about 8 years ago.  I knew he would love it as it takes a peculiar sense of humor to fully appreciate it.  As Uncle Bill would acknowledge, "It's alright, it's okay, there's something to live for.  Jesus told me so!"  

2.  Tim has some serious talent when it comes to writing and photography.  

3.  Tim continues to be a staunch Ute fan in spite of transferring and graduating from Utah State.  He is also a very highly ranked poster on  Look for him under the alias of "Dwight Shr-UTE."  

4.  Tim is an active Democrat and helps me post on our other blog, McCaint 2008.  Additionally, he just saw Barack Obama in person.  Lucky person.

5. Tim has impeccable taste in music and years ago actually referred me to some great sounding bands.  He continues to provide awesome suggestions.  He continues to attend extremely neat concerts, while I sit at home on my pathetic bottom.

6.  His job is incredibly interesting sounding... "Fish Biologist".  It may actually not be as interesting as it sounds, but it sure sounds interesting.  

7. During the NBA finals in Salt Lake, he used the Barney costume and went downtown to where the festivities were.  During an NBC fly-over, there is Tim, dressed in the Barney costume, waving to the camera.  Perhaps the best thing anyone has ever done with the costume. 

8. He has a pony tail and beard.  He has been called "Jesus" by several children in his ward.  He has even posed as Jesus for an artist.  Don't believe me?  Check this out.  Oh, and let us not forget the time that the police were called on him when he entered my Grandma's house while she was in the hospital to leave her flowers.

9. I wonder if he remembers this - While we were on our missions (he in California, me in Pennsylvania) I was somehow able to get his phone number.  I have no idea how, I don't remember.  It was quite remarkable that I was able to get it though.  I called him one evening and he was absolutely dumbfounded that I was on the other line.  I think at first he was a little ticked that I called, but after we chatted a bit, he was cool with it.  

10. Finally, and perhaps most impressive, about 7 years ago (Sorry Tim, can't remember how long ago it was.) he rode his bike from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean over the course of a summer.  By himself.  For those of you that are impressed that I was able to run a marathon by myself, imagine riding your bike for 4 months, with absolutely no company.  The most amazing thing to me is that he found time to locate wards on his route and attend church.  I still would like to know the answer to this question - Did you wear spandex shorts to church?

There you have it, a biography of sorts on my good friend and cousin Tim.  What a great man.  

Hopefully, I can make this an ongoing feature on the old Blog O' Cheese.  Certainly there many people that I find interesting and cool enough to qualify for this award.


CaraDee said...

Thanks, now I'll have more material to talk about with Brandi the next time I call her.

Also, I have that Kermit movie. It's the worst acted movie in the world. But I do like the Kermit's tiny frog friend.

emma said...

Even Dave Letterman's mother told him to clean up his act a little bit in public--So, I can, too. I agree with you that Tim is one of the coolest guys I know--and I love reading your hilarious blog--but I found words like "Jesus told me, SOB, Bitchen and Butt a bit outrageous. And who is Uncle Bill? The rest of the post is very funny and very correct--but I didn't know you got in trouble in seminary or that Tim/Cathi disected a frog...very funny.

Cheeseboy said...

Okay mom. I have taken your "hint" and cleaned up most of what you told me to. However, that Jesus quote comes straight from the movie and it is not meant to be offensive in the movie or on the blog. You'd get it if you watched the movie, which you should never do.

Cheeseboy said...

Oh and Uncle Bill is a character in the movie, not one of our uncles.

tim and brandi said...

I can't describe just how flattered I am by your spot light! I'm so glad that we learned to be friends in high school. However, I have a few clarifications and elaborations.
I'm 6'6".
1. I LOVED that movie. Did you ever end up seeing Clovin or whatever it was called?
2. No comment.
3. Hardly. But I still think that I have the best name on there.
4. I've already had a fellow church member offer to pray for me. BO was BA. We've been trying to find a sign for our front "lawn" and no one's got any. Are they easier to find in Utah?
5. Did I give you music years ago? I just remember running into you during Toad the Wet Sprocket at the HORDE festival in 1996 or something. You're my music source these days.
6. My current job title is officially "Environmental Biologist." I am the "fish guy" in our group though.
7. I remember flipping someone off as I walked down State Street. I bet that looked funny.
8. I got my hair cut REALLY short (for my standards) at the beginning of the summer and it hasn't been in a pony tail since. I'm getting close though. The beard is really just scruff. I shave once a week. Ish.
9. The details of the phone call are returning to me slowly. What I do remember clearly is the tape you made where you sang REO Speedwagon to me. True brotherhood.
10. The bike trip was in 2002 and only took 2 months. It was an awesome trip, and someday I plan on applying your #2 comment (about the writing & photography) and getting it all down in a book. I wore normal pants and a polo shirt to church.
11. It appears that you're editing your blog so that it's more mom friendly. "I can respect that." That's a line from Paisley's favorite Care Bears movie. Again, I'm flattered by the post and lucky to have such a great cousin. I'll have to return the favor soon enough. (Sorry to hijack your comment section.)

Lori said...

I didn't know you were a democrat Abe! I'll just pretend I didn't read #4.

That picture of Tim posting as Jesus is great! His kids (if he has any) probably think that's really cool.

Cheeseboy said...

Tim, Tim, Tim. Please, no need to return the favor. I think I spotlight myself way too much on my own blog.

Cheeseboy said...

Yep Lori, I am pretty much as Democrat as they come. I don't mention it much on the blog here as not to create controversy or alienate my readers. I hope you and Mike will still respect me in spite of my evil ways. Please as Tim says, do not offer to pray for me.

I would, however, vote for a Republican. In fact, I will probably vote for Governor Huntsman if only because I am very grateful for what he has done for educators. (His support of vouchers notwithstanding.)

Lori said...

Ok Abe, no prayers will be said on your behalf...and we still love you. :)

Traci said...

Abe! So glad to read that you are a Democrat! A few years ago, Spencer and I went to the Democrat caucus, and no one in our neighborhood was there but Bro. Bott. I do know that the Republican caucus, held at Bro. Pattons house was very well attended though. I told my dad that I was voting for Obama and I think he was more disappointed in me than he was in my sister who got pregnant at 19 out of wedlock.

Lori said...

You realize if you vote for Hussein Obama, the second coming is sure to happen in the next four years. It was revealed to me in Sacrament last Sunday! O.K., it wasn't but I'll just close up shop and lay everybody off if he's elected. You think the healthcare system is bad now, wait till he's President! I can't think of a scarier scenario in our nation if he's our President. Just my thoughts! I'll still go to a Jazz or U game with you, even if you are confused! Just kidding! Can't wait to hear your comment.

Cheeseboy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cheeseboy said...

Sorry Mike. Deleted my response. My blog is for fun and jolliness, not political pandering. Feel free to visit where I am sure your views will be very well received.

I will say one thing though. If the second coming didn't happen during the 8 years of hell that George W. put us through, I highly doubt it is going to happen during Obama's administration.

Obama 08!

tim and brandi said...

Politics aside, I meant to comment about how fun I had sitting in front of Cathi with Mark Papenfuss during AP biology. She probably thought the two of us were absolute dorks. We were. I remember when you told me that the two of you were dating and I knew you'd be in good hands.

(I wonder if you're mom objects to words like "caucus" on your blog? Sounds wrong.)


Cheeseboy said...

Tim, how in the world could he be a dork with the last name of Papenfuss?

Cheeseboy said...

TRACI - I should have known you and Spencer were Democrats. It takes a certain amount of awesomeness to be Democrat and LDS. (No wonder Mr. Bott is so awesome... for an old guy.) I would have come to the meeting with you guys, but I never know where/when they are.

Obama 08!

Lori said...

You realize a vote for Smiley Huntsman Jr. is a vote for McCain. There is no bigger advocate of McCain's in the state of Utah than Smiley! I guess you have some disdain for McCain due to his education policies. I have the same problem with Hussein because of every other policy, especially the economy and healthcare. You need to watch more FOX news and less MSNBC,CNBC and the View. By the way, the second coming is welcomed in my life, the sooner the better with the way our society has deteriorated! Go Hussein!

Cheeseboy said...

Mike, His name is Barack Hussein Obama. I get it... the right wingers get a kick out of the fact his middle name is Hussein.

I'd rather have Sarah Palin accidentally shoot me in the head while moose hunting than watch a single second of that Fox News crap.

Smiley Huntsman may be smiley, but he got me more of a raise than any other politician in Utah's history.

Alas, you will never convince me to change my allegiance. My mom is Democrat, my Grandpa was as well and now I stand as the next generation of Yospe dems. Sorry, I think we are going to have to agree to disagree when it comes to politics. At least we still have the Utes, Jazz and our hatred of the cougars in common.

Go Utes!

Lori said...

Friends Forever!

tim and brandi said...

There's only one true smiley and it's a guy named Mitt.

That Hussein schtick is so played.

emma said...

Very Cheesy clean-up job--but a great try! Thanks, Mother

Babe in Boysland said...

Wow, Abe, you caused quite the political controversy on your comment page here. I'm glad you and Mike are still bff's.

Cousin Tim sounds too awesome. I think you made him up.