Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Just started watching the Muppets with Lincoln and I AM LEARNING A LOT!

We checked out The Muppet Show, season one at the library in hopes that Lincoln will watch it.

In the process of watching this horribly lame show, I have learned a thing or two.  My fond memories of this show clearly gave me a false impression of how good it actually was.  Don't believe me?  Just try and watch an entire episode without rolling your eyes at least 20 times.  Sure, we all have fond memories of the show, but the reality is that is a total load of puppet feces.  I dare you to go back and watch one!

Here is a list of the top things I have learned from watching the first season of this awful program:

10. The most underrated muppet of all time is Dr. Teeth.  Never heard of him?  Exactly!  I am not sure if he is suppose to be a pimp, a dentist or a musician.  My best guess is that he is a combination of all 3.  I'm guessing that by now, Dr. Teeth has an entire "grill".

9.  I am almost 99% certain that Scooter lives an "alternative lifestyle."  

8. Jim Neighbors has to be the snappiest dresser of the entire 70's decade, not to mention the best guest host of all time. 

7. The reason that Beaker always has a frown on his face, now this is just a total shot in the dark here, is that he is constantly blowing up in various explosions.  I believe that may also explain his vocal cord problems.  

6. Fozzie Bear has very low self esteem, most likely from telling sucky jokes.  Either that or because of his explosive back acne.  Again, probably a combination of both.

5.  What language is that chef speaking anyway? He says the same thing over and over: Borgie Borg Borg.  Apparently, he is from Sweden.    I only  know about the language from watching the muppets, but I must say Swedish is the most backward language I have ever heard.  

4. Kermit prefers a 5-string resonator banjo as opposed to a ukulele or mandolin for it's clarity of voice and sound.  Kermit, you sly, sly devil you.

3.  Frogs and pigs do not mate in the natural world, but in the world of puppetry, they can't keep their flippers/hooves off each other.  By the way, I know that frogs and pigs don't mate in the wild for a fact.  I once put a frog on top of a pig.  I even sprayed the pig with perfume.  The frog showed a little interest at first, but quickly hopped off.  It was a worthwhile experiment though.  I know for a fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy were in regular "contact"(getting busy) because of all those kids they had on that 80's cartoon, The Muppet Babies.

2.  ADHD is prevalent in whatever species Animal is in.  After researching this a little bit, I found that Jim Henson never actually addressed if he was actually medicating Animal for this disorder.  However, my gut instinct is that he was not medicated given the animalistic nature in which he played the drums, and his tendency to bite people.  Also, he was a puppet.

1.  Rowlf the dog is a piano playing genius!


Tammy said...

I've never been a Muppet fan. I'm sure I've seen episodes but I can't think of a single one. And I fell asleep in the Muppet movie at Disney. Or maybe it was Universal?

Eric said...

I loved the Muppet Show! I have very fond memories of it. I've wanted to watch them again for a long time. I can't imagine that they're not as good as I remember.

Maybe you're just jaded. Maybe you have unresolved issues from when you were a kid. Maybe you were jealous of Kermit and his pig-girl friend.

Serious though - that's a fine bit of writing. You make me laugh.

Cheeseboy said...

Eric, I had the same fond memories. But now I watch it and it is SOOOO BORING! Half of the show is the guest host singing or dancing and the other half is just awful. I say go ahead and get the first couple seasons, but I would be VERY surprised if you found it even a tenth as engrossing as when you were a kid.