What their first grade teachers told them...

Neil Diamond's first grade teacher:
"Neil, you don't bring me apples anymore."

Robin William's first grade teacher:
"SLOW DOWN.  I don't understand a thing your saying."

Carrot Top's first grade teacher:
"You're NOT FUNNY, little girl!"

Kathie Lee Gifford:
"Why does your juice box smells a lot like wine?"

Mark McGuire:
"We DO NOT play with needles in class Mark."

Mel Gibson:
Mel, be nice to the girls.

Lindsay Lohan:
"Sniffing the glue like that is not good for you Lindsay."

The cast of Jersey Shore:
"The brown markers are for drawing, not for drawing on your skin."

Tim Burton:
"I think I am going to have a Psychologist look at these pictures."

The Biggest Loser's Jilian:
"You can't yell at him just because he's fat Jilian!"

Karl Malone:
"Okay Karl, when you talk about yourself, you say "I", not "Karl".

O.J. Simpson:
"Now WHERE is your other glove?  Did you leave it at recess again?"

Tom Cruise:
"I don't care how cute she is, there will be no more jumping on your desk!"

John Gosselin:
"What's with all the tears, John?"

Miss Piggy:
"You look an awful lot like a pig."

John Edwards:
"Keep your eyes on your own paper, John."

Glenn Beck:
"Glen, will you please just leave Ramirez alone?"