Today YOU can read all about ME on Mother of Pearl It Is.
(You are supposed to click on the link above.)
Today only you can find out every steamy detail about my life. Pearl has named ME her very first ever "Male Saturday Supahstah." It's an honor I do not take lightly.
So head on over. There is a full scale interview and photos. It's like a regular TMZ over there, except it's all about me instead of Mel Gibson.
Also, after you read about me there, don't forget to read my post from yesterday about public swimming pool. I worked really hard on it and my wife even hung it on our fridge, which is strange because now we have a laptop hanging from the front of our fridge.