Friday, July 9, 2010

The Great NON-Deodorant Experiment, Day 2

I am not sure what was the more popular topic in my comments yesterday: Matthew McConaughey's armpits or the fact that I mistakenly, and idiotically thought that deodorant actually stopped sweat.

At any rate, I thank you all for your comments and setting me straight.

Day 2 began with my showering and scrubbing my armpits with extra emphasis.  I washed and soaked and repeated.  My armpits have never been so spoiled, unless of course, you count the time that I paid to have my armpits massaged by a professional armpit masseuse. (It's an extra fee.)

I opened my medicine cabinet this morning and without thinking, grabbed my bar of Speed Stick and twisted out just enough of the goo to coat my underarms.  I was just about to apply when I remembered you, my beloved readers and the promise that I had made you.

Many of you have been asking about my wife and her reaction to all of this.  Well, if there was ever a time for her to have a nasty cold, it would be this week.

She has a nasty cold this week and can not smell a thing.

Thus, day 2 came and went and no one said a word to me about my smelly armpits.  Of course, I spent most of the day sitting on our back porch, reading and watching the kids swim in one of those urine-infested blow-up pools.

The life of a teacher in the summertime can be pretty  harsh.

35 comments:

Baby Sister said...

Me thinks I'll have to look into an armpit masseuse! Thanks for the idea. ;) Onward and upward!

Jillybean said...

Armpit masseuse?
How does that work if you happen to be really ticklish?

Saimi said...

If you think people other than your wife will actually say you stink, than you're being delusional. Most people will notice B.O. but will never come out and say, "Hey man, you stink. What are you doing anyway an experiment?"

No, no for this to be real, you have to have friends in on it so they can be honest with you.

Otherwise, you'll have to become a pretty good mind reader to know what they are thinking, and most likely....It's gonna be that you stink! HA!!

Now what about that armpit masseuse?

W.C.Camp said...

Kids? I didn't know those things were for kids? Oh that's great - now where am I supposed to go to sit in my own filth? W.C.C.

jayayceeblog said...

Seems like you should do some "field tests" and hit some stores this week. See what kind of reactions you get from say Wal-Mart shoppers vs. fancy schmancy department store shoppers as you sidle up close.

JC said...

Are you from Utah? I noticed that you're a Jazz fan.

http://www.futuretwit.com

Powdered Toast Man said...

I've never had an armpit masseuse before. I have had a toe hair masseuse, that guy was awesome.

Amy said...

I want to know what it costs to get ones armpits massaged? That is one place I wouldn't go as a masseuse...Matthew McConaughey's included.

Eva Gallant said...

If you notice people staying on the other side of the room when you enter, take that as a clue that your test is working.

Mamma has spoken said...

A day at the germ infested pool is better than a day at a boring 'professional development' workshop ;o)

FabuLeslie said...

Mmmm. Matthew McConaughey...

Whawasthat? I didn't quite catch the rest of what you were saying.

DEZMOND said...

why do I have a strange notion that you might present us with a separate post dedicated just to "those urine-infested blow-up pools" sometime in the future? :)))))

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Don't venture into that pool - your naked armpits might set off a chain reaction.

mama-face said...

My husband spent 2 years taking showers once a week (if he was lucky) and not using deodorant and came home convinced people really don't need it-that our bodies become accustomed to the lack of deodorant blah blah blah. Could it be that with no one using deodorant that everyone smelled equally bad? (besides the fact that a lot of basic hygiene was/is neglected where he was for those 2 years). Maybe you could start a blogger experiment. Count me out-for reasons I won't express here.

btw. the hubs began using deodorant regularly as soon as he came back to the States. Good thing for him. :)

Longest most confusing most TMI comment ever. I'm baaaaaaack..........


haha. The comment about whether or not you are a Jazz Fan. :)

Melinda said...

I bet if you get rank enough the smell could break through your wife's sinus problems. You should make that your goal.

Corrina Terry said...

Dear Cheese Boy,
Thanks for my morning laugh! Let's hope you stay downwind of people today.

Yes, I went to BYU, but after living in Provo for a while I lived in SLC and loved it!!! Does that count? Also, my snarky son's dream is to move to Utah.

Melting in the desert heat of Vegas,
Corrina Terry

Tammy said...

I learned a few things from yesterday's post. I didn't know there was a difference between deodorant and anti-perspirant either!

You mentioned your butt sweating. Mine doesn't but sometimes I sweat underneath my boobs. I can't believe it only happens to me but I didn't see any of your other readers comment on boobs.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

Your wife is lucky to have a bad cold this week! (Who thought someone would ever type that? LOL)

I hope your experiment doesn't get too rank. :)

One Cluttered Brain said...

An armpit masseuse? I never knew.
I'm glad your wife has a cold...WHEW! I was worried for a bit...(Well, I hope she gets better but only AFTER you start wearing deodorant..

I love the last part how U will be sitting around watching the kids play in a urine infested pool--ROFL over that one...Thanks!

Marnie said...

I lost it when I read "arm pit masseuse" :0)))))))))))))

You've picked a great time to conduct your experiment. What works in the summer is golden.

T said...

is it bad to be grateful for your wife's illness?

Kristina P. said...

I'm sure Ellen will have you on her show.

-stephanie- said...

I thought of you too when I reached for and applied my deodorant. Being in the hot sun and in a car with 3 others all day yesterday, I was glad I didn't go along with your experiment. Stink on!

Nancy C said...

I just don't see how this is going to end well, my friend.

The Invisible Seductress said...

I trust you know what you are doing and your choice of shirt is reflective of ones that pit stains are hidden well in. Pit stains make people uncomfortable for some reason. (well me)

Tree said...

Massaging the armpits?! Sounds rather ticklish. LOL No fair that your wife has a cold...I want to know if you stink or not! ;) And for this experiment to work well, you have to run around and get sweaty...go pick up a basketball or chop down some trees or something.

ScoMan said...

You should go back to that armpit massuese at the end of this week.

They've seen a lot of armpits, they'll tell you how yours stand up to someone who used deodorant that morning.

Unknown Mami said...

You could always use lemon on your armpits if they get very stinky.

sinika said...

Um, have you ever been to Europe? So beautiful... and STINKY! The older crowd doesn't wear deodorant. But I guess everyone has to find out for themselves, if they are ripe without it. And- I think you should market butt deodorant. Genius idea!

P.S. I think I've heard that in loving relationships your significant other actually loves your.... "smell" so I think you should use the next door neighbors as a judge.

Writing Without Periods! said...

I saw a man with shaved armpits yesterday at my gym. That might help you eliminate odor. I think it's the hair that might smell? Whatda' ya' think?
Mary

sammy said...

i actually went to school to be an armpit masseuse. i got out the business because one day there was this guy that came in smelling to high heaven and wanted an armpit masseuse!!

it was a long time ago and all i remember is that he liked cheese...alot.

M-Cat said...

I agree that you are going to have to have some good friends in on this experiment to actually tell you the truth.

I worked with a lady that had the WORST BO EVAH! I mean, like gag reflex kick in bad. No one ever told her. I run into her now and again, and still the same odor.

You're gonna need someone to tell you the truth - that you stink.

And to Tammy - yes, boobs sweat. It's called the swooby syndrome. Run a little of your Secret under them and it helps a bit. Oh and in your cleavage.

MiMi said...

I knew that deodorant doesn't prevent sweating, I just didn't want to point it out and be all "smarty pants" and embarrass ya. I'm so nice.

Pat said...

You can try this experiment: maybe the armpit stink will keep the mosquitoes away!

Aunt of 14 said...

I thought Matthew McCaughney was extremely cute, until I read somewhere that he thinks body odor is AWESOME. He never uses soap or deodorant... preferring to go "natural". THAT is a major turn off. Then I also noticed that he is a mouth breather. He never closes his mouth... ever!!!! So I wonder if he uses toothpaste...