Tuesday, December 30, 2008

My New Year's resolutions for YOU!

I am not much for New Year's resolutions. In fact, I do not believe that I have ever made a single one. I have, however, thought of several resolutions for other people. Thus, as a public service to you - my reading public, I am providing a list of resolutions for you. (Just in case you can't think of one yourself.) *Warning - Many resolutions I make for you may in fact somehow benefit me.

Cathi - To kiss her husband more often, sometimes even on the lips.
Nancy (Mother-in-Law) - To buy more peanut M&M's.
Emma (Mother) - To stop nagging her son about all the swearing, especially since he rarely swears and if he does, he only uses the "less offensive" swear words.
Clark (Father) - To get a commercial aired that Paige Davis is not in.
Isaac (Brother) - To do more blogging on the subject of blogging.
Jacob (Brother) - To turn up the heat in his house to at least 45 degrees.
Gephart ("Getting" specialist) - To take a look at the underbelly of Harmons.
Jordan (Brother) - To play his trombone in a sacrament meeting.
Esther (Sister) - To go to Chipolte more often.
Tammy (Sister-in-Law) - To win more blogging background awards.
Angelina Jolie (Movie star) - To adopt more black children from Haiti.
Brad Pitt (Movie star) - To adopt more black children from Haiti.
Haiti (Country) - To block the borders from Pitt's and Jolie's.
Lori (Sister-in-Law) - To look less like Jennifer Love Hewitt.
McKenzie (Sister-in-Law) To travel to at least 4 Brittney Spears concerts.
Mike (Brother-in-Law) - To invite Cheeseboy to more Jazz games.
Mike M. (Brother-in-Law) - To stop his disgusting obsession with Kathy Lee Gifford.
Steve (Friend) - To talk more like Snoop Doggy Dog and hang with Abe more often.
Kerrianne (Friend) - To get her kids back in my class.
Eric (Friend) - To run a marathon.
Hadley (Friend) - To buy Utah football season tickets.
Tim (Friend & Cousin) - To be arrested impersonating Jesus on the Vegas strip.
Brandi (Tim's wife) - To spend more time in beautiful Leeds.
The Bishop (The Bishop) - To be released.
Brent (Friend) - To not be called as the new Bishop.
Melanie (Brent's wife) - To not have Calder bother you during Sacrament meeting anymore.
Tyler (Neighbor and friend) - To buy more "treats" for Calder. Also, to hit more neighborhood cats with his BB gun.
Tyler (Friend who ditched us to move to West Valley) - To learn to break dance.
Lyndsay (Tyler's wife) - Buy less bread, chicken and soup.
Cara Dee (Consistent humorous blogging commenter) - To send out her Christmas cards.
Spencer (Friend) - To move back into the cool neighborhood.
Traci (Spencer's wife) - To start a "wives that waited" club for former missionary girlfriends that ended up marrying their missionary and a support group for girls that may be waiting.
Aunt Margret (Aunt) - To have a Grandson named "Trip".
Jana (Sister-In-Law) - To have more strange dreams involving being chased around church by a midget and then blogging about them.

For any other reader - To start commenting more on Cheeseboy's blog!

And there you have it. If you are not listed, please let me know and I will be happy to think of a resolution for you. If you do not like your resolution, leave me a comment and I will think of a new one for you.


CaraDee said...

I feel equally disturbed and delighted at seeing my name. And by the way, Brandon was breathing down my neck and I got them personalized, sealed, now just to get them to the post office in under 2 hours. I CAN do it.
But I would rather have Tim's resolution.

mma said...

Jane says, "Hmmm....I don't think it's gonna be happinin'"(did you notice the Palin speak, so...hmmmm....??)

Bill says, "No."

Mary says, "Maybe Tricky Dicky, but never Trip."

David says, "Certainly not within the next year!"

Richard says, "Maybe. Trip Atkinson sounds good, but Trip Tanner sounds better!"

Jenny says, "I'll name one Trip only if my mother runs for Vice President.

I think our extended family should include a Trip and a Trollop! Why don't you name your next child, "Trollop!"

Tammy said...

What about my Mike and Nathan? They need resolutions :)

I'll do my best with the one you've assigned me! And I'm so happy you assigned the one to your dad. I hope he follows through! I can't stand Paige Davis!

Cheeseboy said...

Cara - If you grow a beard and long hair, you can have Tim's resolution.

Margaret - I am very, very sorry too hear that none of my cousins are game for Trip. Fortunately, there are tons of Palin names to choose from... maybe Daggot or Snig?

Tammy - I only made resolutions for folks that READ my blog. However, maybe Nathan's could be to shave the fake eyebrows off his glasses?

Also, you wouldn't believe how many people have told me they can't stand Paige Davis.

Esther said...

What about Kate and Heather. Thanks for making the that resolution for me (Chipotle) and not a MARATHON!

Jana Banana said...

Wow Abe, thanks! I can't believe you remember that! This resolution may be a little tricky....but I will give it my very best effort!

Tammy said...

We all read your blog Abe! Mike is like Cathi and doesn't comment. That should be both of their resolutions!!!!! And I'm trying so hard for Nathan and his little eyebrows.

tim and brandi said...

I'm gonna go ahead and take the marathon resolution, though I can't remember who you assigned that one to. If you promise not to have any diarrhea issues, I'll let you run it with me. I'm planning on registering for the St. George, which is in October.


Hadley said...

Abe, I tried to buy season tickets for next year but all of the bleacher seats are sold out... still, I'm saving up and I hope to get them this year - I just have to go big and do the Crimson Club donation so it is going to take a little extra time to get the $$$...

Cheeseboy said...

I knew this post would get a lot of comments. I guess that is why I did it. I am a sucker for comments. Okay, let me answer a few -

Had - I heard all of the bleachers had sold out. How much are regular seats? I want in too, I just don't want to spend more than $200

Tammy - Mike's resolution shall be: To sell more pot(s) for his dad. (That never gets old.)

Esther - I only did Chipolte because of your amazing review in your last blog. You can do a marathon too if you want.

Brandi - Good luck on the marathon! Someday I will do another, this time an organized one.

Jana - The more you blog about being chased by midgets, the better.

Eric said...

I'll take the resolution and run a marathon this year. I'd like to run one with you too, although I'm sure you'll finish way before me.

And I like the Paige commercials!

Kerianne said...

Abe, I did everything I could to get my kids in your class. I believe it was you who made that impossible. Now if you would teach 3rd grade next year, that would give me a chance to fulfill my resolution.

My opinion on Paige Davis - If RC Willey can pay to have her in commercials, I am paying too much for furniture. HIre Spencer as a dancer for the commercials and you would have something.

Tammy said...

Good one for Mike, Abe! He said to tell you he also sells acid on the side (for the car wash).

Cheeseboy said...

Kerrianne - Yes, I still feel badly about how things went for second grade. Now IF I can teach third grade I will move there next year - meaning IF there are 4 classes. But we will be more discreet about how we handle it. I am definitely NOT moving to second grade next year... not with this group of kids.

Eric - I wish you well in your marathon journey. I think I will probably sit this year out and make a go at it again in 2010. And glad to hear you like the Paige commercials.

Esther, you were right - I forgot Heather and Kate.

For Kate: To have another kid even half as adorable as that cute Madalyn.

For Heather: To fulfill her destiny, drop her silly allegience to BYU and become a Ute fan like the rest of the Yospe's.

By the way, if you were wondering - I am still in Leeds and very bored and that is why I have time to respond to all these comments.

Ike said...

I'm pretty sure your resolution for me would be a better fit for Jordan. He's the one blogging about blogs nowadays.

granny.yospe said...

What is "less offensive" swearing? It is all offensive to ME! I am finished commenting.

sacdaddy said...

My resolution is too easy. When are you guys available?

Was that really Had I saw reply?

Hadley said...

Abe, the cheapest Crimson Club season tickets are $210 plus $100 donation to the club - $310 total. Hey Steve, yeah, this is really Had!

Cheeseboy said...

Had - Does that mean $320 per ticket or for a pair of tickets?

sacdaddy said...

Had, hey, how's it going?

Depending on the answer to Abe's question, can I buy tickets with you guys too? It would help me fulfill my resolution...

Tyler and Lyndsay said...

Abe- Tyler is now enrolled at the "Pop & Lock It" school for Break Dancing and I will work on buying less bread, chicken and soup. Wait.. are you trying to tell me to go on a diet?

tim and brandi said...

Our resolution for you (and Cathy and the boys) is to come and visit us in Las Vegas, especially this week since you're less than 2 hours away...


Traci said...

Abe- Done. I will be President, Cathi can be VP or COO or CFO or whatever she wants to be called. At our first meeting I will read the excerpt from my journal which was recently unearthed from my parent's basement where I wrote about Spencer leaving for the MTC... it was very dramatic. It included a recap of my standing on my best friend's porch and sobbing "My HEART IS BREAKING" when she answered the door.

su-tang 3000 said...

We'll be moving into your basement. Or the Schumann's.

Cheeseboy said...

Brandi - it would be swell to come and visit you. As for this trip, we will be returning tomorrow. However, maybe in the Spring? The boys have never seen the strippers, I mean the strip of Vegas.

Lyndsay, I only said buy less of that stuff because on your "tag" you said you buy too much of it. This was not a commentary on your weight.

Traci - That is very dramatic. I feel bad for your heart just reading it. Cathi would be able to provide some emmotional support as she had MANY moments like that that may be equally as corny. And yes, I am sure her heartache is chronicled in her journal.

Finally Spencer - You could move into our basement, but now that Jeremy has moved out, there is an empty bunk bed in Cameron's room. You would make a perfect edition to the Schudinni family.

The McPheeters Clan said...

Oh I sooooo thoroughly enjoy mine!! I will try very hard. As for Mike???? He likes Kathy Lee???? What is he telling you that he is not telling me? Please do explain.

Hadley said...

Abe and Steve, unfortunately, the $320 is just for one seat. That's why I haven't pulled the trigger yet.

The Quist's said...

GO UTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Todd Lillywhite said...

Thanks for the New years resolution! I guess it could happen this year. But, more likely next.