In spirit of the "Blog O' Cheese Mascot Week", and because I have a lot of time on my hands due to my student teacher, today I dawned our school mascot costume and roamed the halls with a newfound fire in my eyes. I brightened the lives of children far and wide with my surprise visit - dawned as a giant fur ball of corniness. I should start at the beginning...
I expressed my concern about the lameness of our school mascot to our secretary. (Again, I have a lot of time on my hands and my Principal was at some sort of Principal meeting, talking about Principal stuff.) My main complaint is that we are a baby animal. A baby animal! These kids deserve better. What could a baby animal beat in a fight? Only insects really - and only friendly insects, like butterflies.
I began searching the office for the official form to request a mascot change. The secretary ladies asked what I was looking for and they informed me that such a form does not exist. 8,000 different forms in our office and not a single one is for a mascot change?! Despicable. Even more despicable was trying to find the form on the district website.
I decided to take my plight to the people: the teachers. Many were open to the idea, but had reservations when it came to what we should change the mascot to. I suggested that we change it to something that is native to our part of West Jordan - perhaps the "Strip Malls", "Republicans" or the "Jack Mormons". I especially liked the idea of the "House Cats". Unfortunately, these were not well received and I settled on a "Wolverine". I am not sure a dragon and a unicorn, working in unison, could kill a wolverine. Wolverines are pretty tough.
Alas, I was told by the Head Secretary that there was already a mascot costume and a new one would cost thousands of dollars. I retrieved the costume from the closet and soon myself purusing the hallways, shedding like a bear in the summertime. My new, enormous head clarified my thinking and I came to realize that our mascot is not that bad. It could be worse. We could be... DRAGONS!