Wednesday, February 11, 2009

More mascot madness.

In spirit of the "Blog O' Cheese Mascot Week", and because I have a lot of time on my hands due to my student teacher, today I dawned our school mascot costume and roamed the halls with a newfound fire in my eyes.  I brightened the lives of children far and wide with my surprise visit - dawned as a giant fur ball of corniness. I should start at the beginning...

I expressed my concern about the lameness of our school mascot to our secretary.  (Again, I have a lot of time on my hands and my Principal was at some sort of Principal meeting, talking about Principal stuff.) My main complaint is that we are a baby animal.  A baby animal!  These kids deserve better.  What could a baby animal beat in a fight? Only insects really - and only friendly insects, like butterflies.

I began searching the office for the official form to request a mascot change.  The secretary ladies asked what I was looking for and they informed me that such a form does not exist.  8,000 different forms in our office and not a single one is for a mascot change?!  Despicable.  Even more despicable was trying to find the form on the district website. 

I decided to take my plight to the people: the teachers.  Many were open to the idea, but had reservations when it came to what we should change the mascot to.  I suggested that we change it to something that is native to our part of West Jordan - perhaps the "Strip Malls", "Republicans" or the "Jack Mormons". I especially liked the idea of the "House Cats".  Unfortunately, these were not well received and I settled on a "Wolverine".  I am not sure a dragon and a unicorn, working in unison, could kill a wolverine.  Wolverines are pretty tough.

Alas, I was told by the Head Secretary that there was already a mascot costume and a new one would cost thousands of dollars.  I retrieved the costume from the closet and soon myself purusing the hallways, shedding like a bear in the summertime.  My new, enormous head clarified my thinking and I came to realize that our mascot is not that bad.  It could be worse.  We could be... DRAGONS!


Hadley said...

Dear Abe,

I just found this on your profile:


* Age: 32
* Astrological Sign: Taurus
* Zodiac Year: Dragon
* Industry: Education
* Occupation: First Grade Teacher
* Location: Murray : UT : United States


If I were Tobias Funke I would be asking questions such as: are you sure that your hatred of dragons doesn't come from within? or - does this fear of dragons come from someone in your past? or - has anyone seen my cutoffs?

Cheeseboy said...

Ha ha! Cutoffs! So, my secret is out... I am in reality a Dragon - of sorts. This was not a choice that I made of my own free will. I will, however, admit that I know most of the songs from "Pete's Dragon".

You have brought much to think about to the blog, Had. I need to re-examine who I really am, as a person.

sacdaddy said...

There is a special commandment in the Old Testament for ye dragons. Please see Psalms 148:7

Ike said...

Love the new topper. Who did it for you?

Stacy said...

I really wish I would've seen you wondering the halls. maybe next time you should stop by my classroom and show my kids some school pride.