The Tears of a Sasquatch

I wrote this today while sitting, completely bored in a teacher's class.  It took me about 20 minutes to write.  I thought about saving it for a children's book, but I thought I would try it on the Blog O' Cheese first - to get the pulse of the masses.

Tears of a Sasquatch

What’s even more rare than a Bigfoot print
is finding a Bigfoot's bellybutton lint

Even more rare than the bellybutton lint
is finding a used Bigfoot breath mint

BUT the rarest find of all, I hear
is finding a trickling Bigfoot tear

For a Bigfoot’s life is long and bitter
They’re not on Facebook and they don’t have Twitter

Most of their days are spent wandering alone
They can only get one bar on their Bigfoot cell phones

Bigfoots are dubious and always just missed
The folks that DO see them need good Psychologists

The loneliness and solitude seep in like the fog
They’ll often just sit and weep on a log

They cry and they cry about their droll, forlorn life
They cry over Oprah, global warming, no wife

They cry about fur balls and nasty ticks that are mean
They cry about how their butt looks big in these jeans

They cry about the photos that are clearly all fibs
They cry and they wail over the death of McRibbs

Their tears, they fall freely and splash on the wood
and freeze into place like bird poop on hoods

They hunch over and howl, a miraculous scene
The tears then harden and turn a soft green

So when your Bigfoot search turns up in a loss
Just look at the logs and look at the moss

It’s spread through the woods, a green carpet of light
Bigfoot’s symbol of sadness, his gloom and his plight

But no worries, all hope is not lost in the end
Just follow the moss and make Bigfoot your friend

He’ll invite you over for cooked squirrel and some tea
You’ll love watching Oprah on his woolly, big knee

You’ll swing in his hammock, his droppings you’ll rake
That will finally be proof that Bigfoot ISN’T A FAKE!